For daily social intercourse, [thank you] and [sorry] are the most common polite expressions.
However, bringing these two words into the parent-child relationship has become a wall between parents and children-parents have been waiting for their children’s “thank you” all their lives, while children are waiting for their parents’ “sorry”.
Many netizens who have become parents saw such discussions and their hearts were suddenly cold. God knows how much effort they have made to give their children a happier childhood than themselves:
When I was a child, my family was average, and I only bought new clothes every year during the Chinese New Year. Now I will buy clothes for my children every three to five times, fulfilling my daughter’s dream of being a princess!
I have no talent, and when I arrive at the annual meeting, the regimental construction will be embarrassed. Enroll more interest classes for children, which will also be a social capital in the future.
I think I knew when I was a child that I missed my study and now I have become a mediocre middle-aged man. My child must never repeat my old path again. The first thing to do when I go home every day is to urge him to study obediently!
Clearly, they have done their best for their children. Clearly, the living conditions given to them are much better than when they were children. Why do children seem [ungrateful]? Are they thinking about what?
In response, some netizens also expressed their children’s feelings with their own feelings:
You won’t even accompany me, let what take care of me?
To me, my father and mother are just names. From the heart, I don’t think we are much closer. Maybe we have gone further and further since a long time ago.
If my childhood can be started again, with the company of my parents and better economic conditions, I must choose one, I will choose the former.
Why are they willing to spend thousands of dollars to buy me gifts instead of spending ten minutes talking to me?
Have parents ever asked their children if what their parents did for TA is really what their children want?
It is not the child [ungrateful], but in the child’s cognition, the companionship of parents is more precious than rich material and resources.
[Accompanying Children] is a compulsory course for parents. In fact, many parents understand this truth, but many people fail, not because they don’t want to do it, but because they really don’t have time and can’t do it!
The high-intensity workplace pressure makes parents who want to accompany their children overwhelmed. Very not easy to squeeze the meal rest time, crazy in front of the child [brush the sense of presence], the child also seems ungrateful.
If the child is still in the infant period of 0-3 years old, then the parents are even older. The child cannot express his thoughts and thoughts well. How do you know ta wants how’s company?
Don’t be mad in a hurry, this compulsory course of [accompanying children] really has an effective [methodology].
In fact, good parent-child companionship does not depend on the length of time, but on the quality. So what kind of companionship is the real [high-quality companionship]?
The focus of the small notebook is to create a “ritual-sensitive critical moment company” for you and your children.
Paying special attention to [critical moment] 5 minutes of company is worth 5 hours!
The so-called “critical moment” refers to the period of time set by parents for their children to be happy with TA. During this period, children can get 100% attention from their parents, who belong to TA exclusively at this time.
So which moments are [critical moments]?
- Bed time before going to bed, when children learn specific skills, when eating with children, other fixed times that can spare time.
It would be best if all these critical moments could be taken up. Some parents, even if they are busy with their work, must insist on giving their children an hour of fresh company every day, which is really not easy.
Of course, everyone’s situation is different. If you are really busy, at least one of the above-mentioned moments must be guaranteed. It is your exclusive time and that of your children. No one can disturb you.
These moments are not long, even [short], but parents can realize an effective [sense of companionship] as long as they learn to make good use of this short time together, cultivate their children’s trust, and let TA know the importance of TA in your heart.
Adults need [ritual], so do children.
Don’t think that the pursuit of [ritual feeling] is a [high-level play] that adults only have. Although children still don’t understand the meaning of this word, they also need it.
Let’s give a few common examples in life:
1. Bedtime: Let Children Have Happy Dreams
The principle of bedtime companionship is very simple: let the child fall asleep with a smile.
Parents can explore some fixed bedtime games with their children, or read books and other bedtime activities together-as long as the children like it, they will boldly accompany TA to be happy!
It is worth more than what to let children have a dream with you.
2. Learning Time: Teach Children a Small Skill
If the work is really too busy, we can choose a fixed time to finish one thing with our children every day, or teach them a simple skill.
Don’t worry, the so-called [skills] include every bit of life, whether it is the first time to learn to twist the bottle cap, the first time to learn to play with paper extraction, the first time to learn to turn on the switch, etc., it is a brand-new experience for children!
In the process, your exclamation, encouragement and clapping of your child’s success will leave a deep and positive impression on your child’s mind. Don’t despise these little things, these beautiful memories will make your child accumulate more and gain greater [sense of competence] and [sense of security].
3. Dinner Time: Cultivate Children’s Trust in You
Novice parents should insist on feeding their children at least once a day when they can feed them. This can not only prepare for weaning in the future, but also make it easier to cultivate intimate relationships. The baby can taste more rich and strange tastes besides milk, and at the same time, he can see your appearance and have certain communication with you.
This has played a very positive role in children’s language and cognitive development. Moreover, under your feeding, children will gradually learn language skills and become closer to you.
The child will certainly remember that it is you who have fed TA’s stomach, thus feeling more secure and trusting about your appearance.
4. Other moments: Happiness is the first principle of getting along.
Forget your mission to educate your children. Happiness is the source of intimacy.
Choose a specific time and do something that makes both parties happy with your child. For example, exercise with your child, play games, make cakes, even wash dishes together, etc.
When a child finds out that a certain moment in the day is a happy time with his father or mother, then the child will be expecting and looking forward to you all day long. In short, it is good that you are responsible for [happiness], and the child must like you!
At this moment, you only belong to the baby and no one wants to disturb you!
At the [critical moment] of accompanying children, the [ritual feeling] comes from your exclusive feeling of no distractions, relatively fixed time and [only each other in each other’s eyes].
Therefore, in the process of getting along, it is best to shield others, even your other half. Find time to be alone with your child, so that the child can have more expectation for the happiness you bring.
Therefore, parents can choose one or several relatively free time according to their own work rhythm, which is not likely to be taken by work [killing serial call], to get along with their children. Even if they just say a few words with their children’s simple videos, the children will feel that my mother (father) belongs to me alone in these few minutes.
Just imagine, assuming that from the age of 0, parents accompany the baby for one hour every day with high quality, and when the baby is 3 years old, parents only accompany the baby for 37 days, and parent-child time is very precious.
Therefore, don’t push your children away when they need you most. When your children no longer need their parents’ love, the relationship between parents and children will also exist in name only.
Superior material conditions and superior resource opportunities are certainly love for children, but in children’s hearts, high-quality parent-child companionship is more suitable and expected love.