Chen Shi, a child psychological consultant: If the mother takes good care of herself, the child will be safe and relaxed.

On January 29, 2016, psychological consultant Chen Shi conducted an online question-and-answer session at the invitation of [Clove Mother] (Micro Signal: Dingxiangmami).

We have made a brief arrangement according to the theme of the question and answer. I hope these suggestions can be used when you need them.

With Er Bao, what’s wrong with Dabao?

1. Dabao rebelled!

Fat Sunda:The child is four years old and has a small kindergarten class. I am the mother of the child.Since my second child was born, the eldest brother rebelled at home and talked back when he did something wrong. The more he refused to do, the more he had to do it. When I went to kindergarten, I didn’t like to socialize. I always said that other children didn’t like her and she had no friends.

The parent has noticed that the child’s behavior change is related to the birth of the second child.

Behind the eldest brother’s behavior problems is what she has already said about herself [other children don’t like me]. She has worries and doubts about whether she is liked by her family.

We adults need to help the eldest brother really feel clearly that his family still loves her.

2. With what [big to small], however…

Project Hope: I am the mother of two children, the eldest daughter is seven years old and the youngest son is two and a half years old. The two little guys are always quarrelling, even if they just throw away the garbage, they have to fight for it! I also want to try to develop naturally. Anyway, it is sunny after the storm. But I can’t listen to all kinds of reprimands from the older generation. What’s big ones let the small ones, big ones have to set an example and so on! A child only six or seven years old, your adult always looks at things from his own point of view, saying things, I am not pleasing to the eye. However, sometimes, the eldest daughter is really stingy and excessive, while the younger one is spoiled and charming. I have a bad temper, just like a lion on the east side of the river. Ask for help!

I quite agree with your attitude towards the principle of “big let small”.

This attitude is actually easy to arouse the dissatisfaction of the eldest brother with the second. When the eldest brother with stronger body and better intellectual development is hostile to the second, the second will not be protected by this principle.

In addition, it will also send a [weak is good] message, and the boss will be more prone to retrogression.

3. With the baby, Dabao’s behavior went backwards.

Nzny-Golf: Dabao is one year old and 11 months old, and the baby is just half a month old. Xiao Bao’s arrival makes Dabao seem to behave a little backwards. It is always not good to eat well and let milk powder drink. When happy, he is willing to hug his younger brother and kiss his younger brother. When unhappy, he will not let his mother hug him. He also said he would beat his younger brother. How can Dabao better pass this process?

These behaviors are very typical to deal with one’s worries through retrogression [with Xiao Bao, will my mother still love me as much? I may also be like Xiao Bao, what will not be able to do so, and my mother will take care of me like Xiao Bao].

The same is true for the following one:

Absolute awakening: Hello, teacher! There are two men in my family, Dabao is over two years old, Xiao Bao has been taken by his parents and parents-in-law for more than three months. Our confusion is that, Dabao always eats his younger brother’s vinegar. He beats his younger brother whenever he gets the chance. He wants to send his younger brother away. He does not let his mother and mother-in-law hold his younger brother. He often cries inexplicably at night. He can cry for one to two hours at a time. However, if we take Erbao to other places and separate him, he will become very good at eating and sleeping and obedient.

What should I do about the above situation? Please refer to my previous article (click to view) and give six suggestions to parents of the second child: help [Dabao] accept [Er Bao].

How [corrects] the child’s [bad] character?

1. At home is a dragon, outside is a worm!

Lin Mama: Before the male treasure went to kindergarten for 3 weeks and 8 days, our grandmother took it to work during the day and took it together at night. She found that she might be too spoiled. She was impolite to adults and fell and hit people when she was not happy. We reasoned with him and did not listen. His father was unconvinced when he hit him. She cried for a long time and was unconvinced. She was very stubborn! How can a child educate his child to make him sensible? There is also very horizontal at home and very little courage to go out! Other children robbed him and beat him, so he stood there foolishly and did not dare to fight back! As a mother, I am very worried about the baby’s character and need your answers, clove mother. Thank you very much!

In the process of children’s growth, they need to learn many social rules, and the role of parents is very important.

First of all, parents need to clearly think about what rules they need to set for their children:

    What is possible; What is not allowed; In the case of what, those are possible.

Children are more likely to adapt to clear, consistent and stable rules. If parents do not think clearly, or if there are great differences between different parents, children will easily be confused and have unnecessary conflicts with the rules.

Next, parents should be firm in enforcing the rules, but they should also be gentle.

Firmness means that as long as the rules are reasonable, don’t compromise easily. Gentleness means not threatening, belittling, retaliating or scolding children.

Corporal punishment is not recommended, but when a child is determined to do something that is not allowed, he can restrict his freedom by clinging tightly, and at the same time avoid hurting others and hurting himself when he loses his temper.

In addition, for children of this age, don’t be reasonable when enforcing the rules, only tell him your requirements in the simplest words.

Reasoning is something to do later when the child is relatively calm.

Finally, it is very important that when implementing the rules, it is often when children and parents are prone to high emotions and cognitive disorders.

Enforcing rules is to restrict children’s behavior, and helping children adjust their emotions is the key to helping children grow up.

This part of the skill is explained in detail in my other article: What should I do when my child is in a mood? (Part I)

For children who are very horizontal at home and timid when going out, there are also explanations in other articles: parents who play dumb raise independent babies.

2. How to teach cowardly children?

Xuemeixiang: Hello, teacher! 1.6 years old, girl, when other children come to rob my children’s things, my treasure will not rob, will be a little scared, and cry at my parents! Is the child doing the right thing? Will you be cowardly and dare not compete in the future? What should parents do to help children not be afraid or cowardly?

It is suggested that parents and children use some dolls to reproduce this process in the form of games, and ask the children curiously [guess what, this little rabbit who has been robbed of toys will feel like what? What does it think? Let’s give it advice].

Through games, let the children act as directors and perform all kinds of treatment methods, as well as all kinds of possible consequences.

After children have experience, they will make better choices in real life that they can make.

The child seems to have no confidence… … …

Sihui: hello! My son is 9 years old this year, he will not be very active to complete a task. The attitude is to do it, and it is very passive! When blamed, they will only look at each other with helpless eyes ~

Children need to have a positive attitude towards themselves to do things positively.

However, to have a positive attitude towards oneself requires parents to look at themselves with a positive attitude.

Try to avoid blame, affirm every positive point of the child, and let the child feel that success is promising.

She is not lively and generous at all!

Zhai Erjie: hello, I’m two weeks and ten months old, The baby is very clever, Speak earlier than the other children, It is also clear that, It’s sticky because it’s always on its own, and timid, Yesterday we took her and her friends to dinner and agreed with her in advance to call her uncle and aunt. As a result, I did not dare to look at people all the time and cried. I had to come out with me and did not enter. I was shy but not so bad. What’s going on? I have to do it recently if I want what, or I have to cry until I fell asleep after crying. Is it a burst of time? She still doesn’t like to play with children. She has been sticking to me all the time. How do you want her to go to kindergarten after a year?

We all hope that our children can be lively and generous in social occasions.

However, the child is, after all, a child. For uncles and aunts who are very familiar with their parents, in the eyes of the child, they are strangers they have never seen before. It is normal to have fear.

When I meet children under the age of five or six, I will not greet them directly, let alone expect them to greet me voluntarily.

I will talk to the parents of the children first and have a chat with them. Let the children nearby know through their parents’ reaction that although I am a stranger, I am safe because my parents have already demonstrated.

Then, I will take the initiative to say hello to the child, then the child is more likely to have a lively and cheerful dialogue with me.

It is easy for children not to adapt to the new environment at the moment… … …

1. Kindergarten Withdraws from Kindergarten

Right, right, left, left: I am the mother of a 3-year-old girl. I took my daughter with me. I dropped out of kindergarten for four months. The reason is out of line, Always sitting alone in the next room or sitting alone on one side, Watching other children play, Want to go but dare not, Afraid of life,. Special stubborn character, How to say all don’t listen. Courage is small, especially afraid of adult men, such as her watch uncle, often go to his store to play, but not familiar with him, the first sight of him will be afraid. At home temper is especially big, irritable. For example, she wants to wear clothes by herself, if others help her put gloves in, he will cry loudly. How can she adapt to kindergarten?

Adapting to kindergarten can be a long-term goal.

The current goal is to cultivate her emotional regulation ability and language expression ability through getting along with her parents and parents at home.

For example, when others help her to dress, she uses crying to express her wishes, not words: “I want to wear them myself, I will not be happy if you help me!” ]

The verbal expression of one’s own wishes and emotions is the basic ability that children need to solve these difficulties they are currently facing.

Parents can demonstrate to her from this angle when getting along with each other.

2. I went to kindergarten for fear of not seeing my mother.

Vince333:The child is three months short of reaching the age of three, My mother and I work individually, We have been looking after the baby together since it was born. Last November, I wanted to send him to kindergarten, but after two days, I came back sick. After communicating with the teacher, it is possible that the adaptability can be too small for the child to eat or drink at school. Considering having time to look after him, he dropped out of school and planned to go to a small class directly this year. The problem is that the child is quite resistant to going to kindergarten now, saying that he does not want to go to school for fear of not seeing his mother. Therefore, it is more appropriate to consult the child how old he is to enter school and how to better pass the early stage of admission. Thank youAt ordinary times, some people mentioned kindergarten life to him and told him many interesting things, but it didn’t seem to work very well. Is it because they depend too much on their parents, and their self-care ability in life is still possible?

The child said [I don’t want to go to school for fear of not seeing my mother], which is actually a very common worry for children of this age to attend kindergarten.

Parents don’t have to think it is strange for their children to think so, nor do they have to worry about dispelling their children’s worries immediately. They can say: [Oh ~ you are worried that you will not see your mother when you go to school. When you were in kindergarten, your mother was not around, and you must still be quite worried. Will what be worried? ]

In fact, on the one hand, it is very important to talk about children’s interesting things in kindergarten, but when children have worries, it is also important to help children talk about these worries.

3. Children do not perform well in kindergarten,

Gently Valve: My child is almost five years old, Usually use Chinese at home, Fluent and talkative, The communication with the people in the community is very good. However, the kindergarten teacher recently reported that Not actively answering questions, not taking the initiative to ask questions, and even urinating, teachers seldom urinate their pants. I use Cantonese in school. In fact, kindergarten life has been going on for two years. Recently, there has been no big change in my family. My mother has been with me all the time, but my father has been with me a little less. I don’t know how to correct and guide me. Please ask the teacher for advice. Thank you!

It is suggested that children’s difficulties in kindergarten should be played out by playing games, and then they should think of ways to imitate the kindergarten situation by role-playing, so as to practice the coping methods that children can use.

Other ways to help children adapt to kindergarten life can refer to my feature article: How to Make Babies Adapt to Kindergarten Life Quickly?

4. Refusing to poop in another place?

Jing an: hello, I am the mother of a two-year-old and three-month-old child. Originally, I had been out of town all the time, but suddenly I didn’t want to sit in the bedpan when I went back to my hometown. When my child was at ease, he was very determined not to sit in the bedpan, and then he cried all the time. I really can’t hold my breath before I can pull a little shit. Even if I can’t hold my breath, I don’t want to sit in the bedpan. I am very confused. I don’t know if it is what’s reason. I don’t know if you can help me solve my doubts. Quiet waiting for a reply. Thank you.

Children over two years old are often more sensitive to the environment and their adaptability is far less than that of adults.

Controlling stool is a common way for children of this age to face adjustment pressure.

Children cannot control the changes in the environment, and controlling defecation can get some compensation. It is suggested not to be too anxious about this, which will increase the pressure on children and increase the psychological need to control defecation.

It is suggested to start with [how to help children get familiar with and like the living environment in their hometown], which is fundamental.

Adults take good care of themselves before they can raise their children well.

1. In a bad mood, it is hard to avoid yelling at children.

Zhenbao: I am separated from my daughter and father. I am busy with my work. Sometimes the children make noise and cannot help yelling at her. The children are especially insecure. I have to accompany them to sleep. I have to hold the collar and wake up easily. What should I do?

It is really difficult for working women to take care of their children without their husbands’ support.

First of all, mothers need to take good care of themselves. The more stable their emotions are, the more they can avoid yelling to meet their reasonable needs at that time when their children are noisy.

Mothers feel safe and relaxed, and children often feel safe and relaxed.

Long Longwei: I am the mother of two men’s treasures. Dabao is over 3 years old and has gone to kindergarten! Xiao Bao is over 2 years old, and the two treasures have always been my belt! After giving birth to the second treasure, Baoma has postpartum depression symptoms. Sometimes she has a bad temper. She often beats and scolds her children. Later, she regrets it very much. She wants to control her temper every time, but she can’t control it. Every time she still loses her temper because of some trivial things. So worry about how much trauma will be left on the baby’s character? At home, I am very clingy and stubborn. I have to get what and lose my temper if I am not satisfied. I feel that he is a child who has no sense of security. Now I should correct his character and restrain his temper how?

Postpartum depression actually makes mothers have great emotional pressure and has a great impact on their quality of life.

Happy mothers can bring up happy babies.

I think we can put aside the problem of how to correct the child’s character first. Mothers can first seek help and support from themselves or from their families, friends and psychological consultants to relieve their depressed emotional pressure.

2. Weaned, the child does not want me

Pupil Xiaotong Z: hello, Mr. Chen, I have heard several lectures from you, especially the one on security, which benefited me a lot! I seem to be having some trouble getting along with my baby lately, Accurately after weaning, My baby has been breastfeeding, When he was 20 months old, I had to wean in isolation because I got Norodom enteritis. It was the first time that the baby did not sleep with me at night. After three days of weaning, the baby was successfully weaned. Grandpa brought it with him in those days. Up to now, I still see Grandpa and don’t include me. Is it caused by lack of security? How can we improve it?

The mother must have felt very frustrated by her weaned child’s rejection of herself.

After all, I have been so devoted to my children that I had to wean them in isolation.

In fact, I think you don’t have to worry too much about whether this matter will have a long-term impact on your relationship with your children.

Only from the child’s point of view, he did not know or understand, and his mother was also very embarrassed in the process. What he felt was that he was rejected by his mother at that time, and Grandpa helped himself adapt to this difficult period.

Can mothers understand and accept this? Give yourself more confidence and give your children some time to adapt to this change.

3. Divorced, who will raise the child?

Sheba: My wife and I have reached an agreement on divorce, but it is a problem who belongs to our four-and-a-half-year-old son. Since our two families originally lived very close, I think it is a better plan to take turns to raise the children together, but the child’s mother insists that the child belongs to her. I’d like to hear your opinion? Only by doing so can how minimize the impact of divorce on children.

From the child’s point of view, of course, the better the maintenance of their parent-child relationship with their father and mother, the more conducive to the growth of children.

It is very necessary for children to feel safe about the parent-child relationship. Divorce dissolves the husband-wife relationship of parents and does not change the relationship between parents and themselves.

As for the attitude of the mother of the child, I think this part still belongs to the part that needs to be solved in the final process of the relationship between your husband and wife. Avoid turning the child into a weapon to fight and punish each other at the end of the relationship, and the child will become a war damage.

4. Raising children from other generations, leaving children behind, and how of mothers affect children?

Sweet Happiness: I am the mother of a six-year-old, My daughter is now in preschool, Grandma has been taking it since she was two years old. Left-behind children. She doesn’t like studying, I like watching TV, Like to go out and play with her little friends, Sometimes when I call her, I often hear her say that some classmates call her. Sometimes there is dredging on the arm. At home, I don’t listen to Grandma’s words. I used to hit people when there was something wrong with her. Later, I communicated with her and told her that it was wrong to hit people. Let her apologize. After that, my daughter slowly didn’t hit people. She also knew that she had done something wrong and said sorry to others. She likes snacks very much, and she is picky about food. Her academic performance is poor. She asks for advice! !

The capital for parents to effectively educate their children is parent-child relationship, which is very dependent on accompanying time for children.

But on this point, I think you have practical difficulties.

I think the key point to help the child is not from the perspective of education, but more from the perspective of chatting with her, talking with her and discussing the difficulties she encounters. This process is definitely not easy, but come on!

Why is her temper suddenly so big?

100,000 Hot Jokes: Nvbao is one year old and seven months old. Recently, her self-awareness has begun to sprout. If she wants to eat by herself and wash her hands, she starts to cry and make a scene to express her dissatisfaction. Does how guide her children to transfer this kind of bad mood? I am a precious mother, try my best to restrain my emotions and generally do not lose my temper, but because I am always patient and anxious, I hope to give guidance. Thank you very much.

The mother has understood that the child’s requirements are the beginning of self-awareness. I want to divide the problem into two parts:

    One is which intentions of children can be encouraged and which can not be accepted. The second is how to appease the mood.

First, what is your attitude towards the requirement that children want to eat by themselves and wash their hands? Is what the concern? In principle, I think this requirement can be met conditionally, which is beneficial to children’s psychological growth, self-care ability, fine movements and coordinated development of hands and eyes.

However, it may take a long time and dirty clothes, which may be parents’ concerns. I think parents can think of some way to reach a compromise in how and have the conditions to meet their children’s wishes.

The second question, emotional regulation, I have a special article to explain in detail: What should children do when they are upset? (top)/(bottom)

Lin Ji: My son is two and a half years old. I am a mother, Usually I take care of it full-time, Not living with the old man, I had a period of early childhood education for parents (two sessions a week). My son did not want to play with all the children and ignored strangers, which made me very confused. My son was impatient and lost his temper when he had something unpleasant. Now he has his own opinions, and it is difficult to convince him that he is determined to do something. These all make me helpless. Thank you very much for your answering questions to readers.

For children of two and a half years old, it is difficult to guarantee the effect of [persuasion].

This stage belongs to [the first resistance period], and parents can help from two angles.

  1. Give the child some space where he can control and display his wishes. Outside this space, he only needs to tell him whether he can or cannot, and tell him that how is possible.

  2. When a child loses his temper, parents help to appease his emotions. Note that this is not to appease him through compromise.

There will be a special article on the handling of the first resistance period in the near future, which will be elaborated in more detail at that time.

Desire for a share: I am the mother of a one-year-old and seven-month-old female baby. My baby is brought by the baby’s grandmother, but my husband and I are both at home, not counting as left-behind children. My question is: Why is she so angry now? If you are not satisfied, you will cry and make a scene. What must do everything according to her wishes. Otherwise, you will cry and make a scene. How can you educate me? ? ?

It seems that your baby has entered the first period of resistance.

The child is already beginning to build self-awareness at this age. All of them have many needs to express and realize their personal wishes. They expect [what does everything according to her wishes], which is a typical performance at this stage.

However, the child does not have the corresponding practical ability, and is bound to suffer setbacks, resulting in great emotional pressure, and she is very lack of emotional regulation ability, all often produce more extreme emotional expression. On how to deal with this stage, I have a special article to be published soon, first briefly described here.

Parents evaluate their children’s abilities and what they can accept, determine what they can encourage their children to do according to their own wishes, and give their children as much space as possible in their own life as she can control.

Parents should pay attention to the emotional comfort of their children. The child’s crying does not mean that the parents will compromise, but is sending a distress signal to the parents [Mom, I can’t adjust my emotions yet, I need you to help me calm my emotions].

Parents can help their children stabilize their emotions only if they can stabilize their emotions when facing their children crying. Otherwise, parents often give in unprincipled or control violently.

Baby face, April day, emotional control is really a difficult problem.

Xia Xia Gu Porphyria: Nvbao, who has just turned 4 years old, Xiao Ben. Children are in a mood and like to smash things. Destroy anything within easy reach, If you feel wronged, you must strike a balance from others. Patient communication in the middle has made sense. Threatened, It’s no use fighting. Before Baoma finds out about the accidental pregnancy, The baby has asked if the mother has a baby, don’t have a baby, if you want to have a baby, give it to your aunt or aunt. Sometimes it will be said that the mother has a baby crying in her belly, but these are all occurring before finding out the accidental pregnancy of the precious mother. The family wishes together and is not ready to add new members. At present, the precious mother is preparing for abortion.

As for the child’s emotional impact on things, the first thing to do is to tell her with actions: this is not allowed.

This action is not a threat or beating or scolding, but holding her hand or hugging her without accusation and saying [I know you hit things to tell me that you are angry, but it is not allowed to hit things].

Repeat this passage. Then, as long as the child no longer struggles, continue to hold her in a softer way and add some physical touch, which is very useful for regulating emotions.

When the child’s mood is calm, talk to her about her feelings. It is what and why she feels this way. Her hidden worry is what.

Finally, we can reason again.

About Baoma is ready to miscarry. I think you must have your own considerations. It’s just a reminder that only parents have the decision to have a second child. Don’t give the eldest brother the decision. Rights and responsibilities are two sides of the same coin. Not giving the eldest brother the right is the protection of the eldest brother.

Qing Qing’s mother: I am the mother of a first-grade girl, The child grew up with his grandmother, With us on weekends and evenings, Something just happened at noon today, At ordinary times, I play very well with a piece of building blocks, Suddenly there was a part that collapsed and cried before it was plugged in. I begged my grandmother to hug me three times and still couldn’t let go. Has been crying for nearly an hour, the family can’t understand that she is unreasonable. I am too principled and incompatible with the child’s requirements. Grandma and grandpa dote on the child, and father and child do not communicate much. I don’t know whether it is just because of a cold and fever recently, or whether there is pressure to go to school, or whether she is not concerned enough. Please ask experts to help us analyze it, thank you!

Your daughter sounds more like some emotional pressure accumulated over a period of time was detonated during a little frustration in playing with building blocks.

When the child loses control of her emotions, she knows that Grandma can help her adjust and will take the initiative to seek comfort from hugs. Crying for an hour is also a kind of [excretion] and release of accumulated negative emotions.

There is nothing wrong with you having principles for your children, but [having principles] is often aimed at the children’s behavior and does not necessarily contradict [affinity].

The growth of children cannot be separated from the emotional needs of their parents, which is the source of their strength.

Thousand Painting Arts: I’m the mother of the baby, and I’m two and a half years old, She has a bad temper now, If she doesn’t get what she wants, take the stool when she is unhappy. The toy car chased me and threw it to relieve my anger. I also threw all the things on the table on the ground. How can she coax her to scold her and stop it? It is useless to stop her from being pulled by her hair and grabbed her face. Sometimes she is not afraid to frighten her with a call. How can I get rid of this stubborn and explosive temper behavior of my little girl?

It is suggested that every time a child loses control of his emotions and throws things, he immediately hugs her tightly and binds her limbs until she calms down.

During this period, don’t try to reason with her or coax her, but also avoid scaring and scolding her. Just repeat [Mom knows you are angry now, but you can’t throw things].

Try a few more times to find the best way to avoid hurting herself while struggling without particularly hurting her hug. This process is likely to take half an hour.

For more ways to regulate emotions, please refer to my special article: What should children do when they are upset?

Tong Xiaomiao:The daughter is two years old and four months old. I am a mother. About half a year ago, when a fall or something unpleasant happened, the child would say no mother and so on (when he saw what, he said no what). Later, through picture books, the child knew that it would not be shameful to fall or do something wrong. Although the situation has eased, But it has been going on. Recently, the child began to say no mother for no reason, and when he fell asleep, he suddenly woke up and said no mother, mother went, he cried when I didn’t go, he said mother came back when I went, and he said mother went when I came back, so repeatedly. I tried to insist on not going and always told her mother loved him. I also tried to obey his instructions, all of which were invalid. Thank you

Such contradictory expressions of children really embarrass mothers.

In fact, what the child wants to say is [Mom, I need you very much, but I am angry with hello, and I don’t even know what to do], but she hasn’t realized this yet.

Mom can help her realize.

Understanding and integrating their own ambivalent emotions is a good opportunity for children’s mental development. The mother should not leave, nor should she feel sad because the child [does not want the mother]. Try to maintain a stable state of mind and help the baby explain and express her complicated emotions while comforting them.

For example, you can say like this: [Baby, do you feel angry with your mother when you want her to leave? I see your little fist is pinched and your mouth is still blocked. It must be very angry…]

These behavioral problems of children are also a headache…

1. Babies like to eat their mother’s hair,

Hao and Minggongze: I am the mother of two children, Let’s talk about Dabao first. Dabao is less than two and a half years old. Before I walked, I would sleep vertically and suck my hair. I just tried to keep my head away from him so that his mouth wouldn’t touch him. But now I can walk and see hair on the floor and eat and play with it. Now I won’t pick up my hair when I come back to my hometown in the countryside, but I will pick up something else and put it in my mouth to taste. I want to ask the doctor if this is pica. He is also very active. Is he zinc deficient? How to solve this phenomenon? He also asked the doctor to help him solve the problem. He also said that he would not listen and could not reach it. He was very distressed.

I have no way to answer whether the child lacks zinc and whether there are physiological factors causing this kind of behavior.

From a psychological point of view, it is possible that children sucking your hair is a way to cope with emotional stress. The information you said is not enough to judge whether this is the reason.

It is necessary to evaluate the normal parent-child interaction between you and your child, the normal emotional state of your child, and also to understand your experience of breastfeeding and weaning your child.

None of this is easy to accomplish on the Internet.

Hao and Minggongze: More than two months later, mixed feeding began, He got pneumonia more than three months ago, Rarely eat, breast milk began to clear, it is said that the more breast milk is sucked, the more breast milk I try my best at night. Perhaps because not many babies have to eat three or four times, they will be weaned for nearly seven months. They insist on not giving breast milk one night, and the weaning is successful. Only after weaning, they will begin to sleep on their stomach and allow sheets for more than ten days. I don’t know if this supplement is OK? I want to take him to check trace elements, and look at the data and say that the check is not necessarily accurate, is that right? Thank Dr. Chen for his patient answer.

Sucking hair may be similar to the inner motivation of sucking sheets when weaning, that is, the attachment to the mother, and the way of sucking is used to obtain sensory satisfaction.

It is suggested to increase the intimate touch on the child’s body and cooperate with soft and praiseworthy language.

When the child wants to suck his mother’s hair, guide him to touch the hair with his hand, smell the hair with his nose, replace sucking with more other sensory channels to meet his psychological needs, and talk to him. It feels like what’s feeling, smells like what’s feeling, and guides him to language expression.

Step 2: Don’t sleep at night

“Sesame cotyledon: Mr. Chen, hello, I’m the baby, mommy, The daughter is 2.5 years old, It was always me and the father of the child who brought it. I don’t live with my elders. I haven’t attended kindergarten yet. We can do anything else. Only the daughter doesn’t like to sleep. Get up early in the morning, Nap sometimes didn’t sleep, sleep very late at night (after 11: 30, sometimes she will naturally recite stories and sing to herself after everyone lies down after turning off the lights, sometimes she will fall asleep after 12.30). Sleep problems should be very important to children. The reason for the problems is the influence of my father and I on her. Would you like to ask the teacher, children sleep late and sleep less, which is not good for children to have what? Thank you

Children’s growth and development need adequate sleep.

It is suggested to avoid activities that will excite children before going to bed and go to bed early. Children are not required to fall asleep, but are required to close the door, turn off the lights and lie down with their eyes closed.

Children can be given five to ten minutes to recite stories and sing songs, but the volume is limited to a very low level.

For more advice on baby sleep, please see this article: Regarding baby sleep, you may not know that these eight [experiences] are wrong.

3. You have to feed when you grow up.

Qingsong 11: My child has just turned seven years old. As my parents brought him when I was a child, I have been feeding him all the time. Now I often feed him when I eat. It’s really a headache. I am too patient and picky about food. Is there any good way to correct it?

Normal children have the ability to practice eating when they are tired by the age of two.

The dependence of children is too strong, and behind it is often that the main nurturer’s heart is too dependent on the psychological need of [hoping to clearly feel that he is needed by the children], thus limiting the independence of children in a very [hidden and high control] way.

To solve children’s problems, adults often need to find reasons and solutions from themselves.

4. What about eating hands?

Yun Wen: Teacher Chen, hello, I am the mother of a 26-month-old baby girl. My daughter was taken care of by her aunt when she was a child. Now she lives with her grandparents and is usually taken care of by her aunt’s milk. When I was a child, I ate my hands and got better later! However, she has been eating hands since she was one year old, so I started to use pacifiers for him. But it has been 26 months now, and she still eats hands and won’t let her eat. She has asked to use pacifiers herself. Is this a problem? Do you have any good suggestions from what to get rid of her habit of eating hands? Thank you!

Please refer to my article: The baby is eating hands again. Are you in charge or not?

The above answers are only for the content provided by the questioner. When the background information is insufficient, the answers will be based on certain assumptions and are for reference only.