Mothers have more or less heard the word-[terrific two], which is called [terrible two years old] in Chinese.
As long as the mother who has experienced it will have something to say, the baby in this period is simply a strategic heavy weapon, as if it had changed from an angel baby to a cruel and bloodthirsty weapon of mass destruction overnight, destroying your emotions, tearing at your patience and leaving you nowhere to run…
Today, let’s talk about how to deal with this period and how to be prepared so as not to be emotional breakdown by small monsters and to save the old life of parents.
Terrible 2 Situation Notes
Terrible 2 is the first rebellious period in a child’s life, marking the first step in the transformation of human budding cubs to Homo sapiens. At this time, children’s self-awareness broke out and their curiosity was strong. Every day, they were asked three philosophical questions:
Who am I?
What can I do?
Why should I listen to you?
Children will try to challenge adults’ authority with words and forms to prove that they are not a baby and will never tire of it…
This stage will probably last from 1.5 years old to 2.5 years old. The duration is closely related to how parents deal with it. If it is not handled well, this rebellion will go deep into the bone marrow and affect the age of 3 and even primary school.
Terrible 2 List of Weapons of Destruction
1. The mantra is [No]
Weapon lethality:
-Baby, let’s eat?
-Me! No! Yes!
-Baby, wear this dress?
-No! Yes!
-Baby, let’s go out?
-Just! No!
… …
Since they learned the word [no], they have been madly infatuated with the charm of refusal.
Don’t eat, don’t dress, don’t sleep, don’t take a bath, don’t move when you go out, little people have a big idea, what requires that you can use [no] to go back and challenge your nerves every minute.
2. Inexplicable sense of order
Weapon lethality:
-Biscuits must be complete, not broken! I can’t change one!
-Toys cannot be moved or tidied up! The color of the crayon is misplaced, and I have to fight with you!
-You have to flush yourself after going to the toilet. You can’t wait to ask you to pull another lump and flush it again!
At this time, children have almost strict requirements for themselves and even everything in the world. If they are not satisfied, their emotions will erupt. They are like an irregular bomb. Facing the situation that may happen at any time, they are like being suddenly bombed by a [king] when fighting against landlords. Their faces are stunned and caught off guard.
3. Collapse if you don’t agree
Lethality:
-Hold when you go out, and be refused to fall to the ground and roll directly…
-After mixing the clay, it was found that it could not be separated and could cry for half an hour…
-Looking at Xiao Mao and saying it was a dog, I said it was a cat, and then I cried and said it was a dog…
Every detail must conform to Eva’s idea, otherwise it will collapse, from howling to crying aloud, and you will hammer your feet and roll all over the ground. Your eardrums and heart will be tortured by turns every day. In an unguarded moment, your emotions will also be run on behalf of you.
The Meaning Behind Rebellion
Parents can’t help wondering about life: Why did Eva become like this?
All kinds of unreasonable rebellion shown by children are actually proof of their growth. They express through actions and words: “We are different!” It’s different! ]
Before the age of two, the child cannot separate himself from his mother’s role, [mother is me and I am mother], and will feel that everyone is the same as him. For example, if he wants to eat sugar, he will feel that everyone wants to eat sugar.
At this stage, they will use various means to understand and test the differences between others and themselves, and even challenge the differences between such people.
Through confrontation, game and even compromise over and over again, I understand the gap between reality and wish, know that [everyone is different] [not everyone will revolve around me], and gradually learn how to get along with the world and others in balance.
Parents’ Life Saving Is Not Completely North
1. Speak skillfully and give Eva less chance to say no.
Imperative sentences are more likely to be rejected. When we communicate with our children, we can avoid stepping on thunder through open dialogue instead of judging questions that can only be answered with [yes] and [no].
For example, eating-
Baby, come and eat
Don’t eat!
This time becomes
The baby has dinner, let’s compare who can do it faster.
Then Eva will run to the dining table (witty).
Another example is that parents are very upset to go out and wear clothes:
Baby, let’s get dressed.
No!
Why not? !
Just no!
At this time, the dialogue is at an impasse and the family war is about to break out. What about this?
Baby, come on, which of these two coats do you like?
I like the Wang Wang team!
Come on, let’s put on the Wang Wang team and go out to play together.
The child went out happily and smoothly. How harmonious!
Appropriate decentralization can make this little adult feel present. Of course, not everything is for Eva to choose, such as eating and sleeping.
2. Set rules and be patient.
Children will use crying to achieve their goals. If you think Eva has made a compromise, then this clever person will remember this [standard] and reuse it next time.
Set limits in advance to let children know the existence of [rules]. For example, if you can’t eat snacks one hour before meals, you can say yes in advance and do what you say. Once or twice, the third time the baby will have a long memory. You will find that the time for making noise is getting shorter and shorter, and finally [the plan has been reached]!
However, it is not recommended to set rules for everything. As long as it does not involve one’s own health and safety and does not affect others, let it be.
3. Accept your child’s emotions and imperfections
At this time, it is not easy for the baby. The whole world is not in line with its own wishes. It is full of all kinds of powerlessness and frustration. It cannot control its emotions and is easy to collapse.
Accept the imperfection of children, just as we are not perfect, identify with children’s emotions, just as we hope to be understood when we are in a bad mood.
Can make him cry, let him vent, can say so before refusing the child’s request
Mom knows that you want to eat chocolate very much. Chocolate is delicious and it is very sad not to eat you… … …
Eva will think that although her mother refused me, she still loves me and can also take the opportunity to teach her children how good she is.
4. Be Buddhist and don’t be general with children.
The last point is the most important and difficult to achieve.
Most of the time we all feel funny: Why am I mad at a two-or three-year-old child? My wife once quarreled with her two-year-old son and cried alone. These little monsters always have ways to force you to become a stepfather and stepmother. I wish I could put it back into my stomach.
But I still want to say-relax, don’t take it too seriously, don’t be like a small fart child.
If you feel that you want to erupt, leave and calm down and tell yourself [your own biological] that both parties will calm down and continue to talk. Otherwise, the more hair falls off, the more angry baby will not remember, and the loss outweights the gain.
On the other hand, although the rebellious period of the child is difficult, today we operate and practice more. As long as we guide patiently, the child will be more emotional when dealing with others in the future.
Today’s parents are more upset, and tomorrow’s children will suffer less.
In fact, two years old is far from the time when raising children is the most troubling. Every stage has its troubles. Children are constantly growing up. Raising a baby is just like fighting monsters and upgrading. End? No.
Next, there are 3 years old, 4 years old, 5 years old… puberty, perhaps this < < guide for parents to raise children and save their lives > > can be written longer.
Author: Ye Zhuang