Can you be unable to relieve the pressure of life, trouble sleeping, and the anguish in your heart, begin to doubt yourself, deny yourself, and get stuck in it but cannot extricate yourself?
At such times, many friends think that it will be good to tell themselves [be positive] and find friends to pour bitter water and drink a bowl of chicken soup. But when one is alone, the feeling of loneliness comes to mind again.
At such times, it is necessary to consider receiving psychological counseling.
Some friends also wanted to ask for help in the past, but their hearts were full of confusion.
In order to dispel doubts, some of them excitedly typed [psychological counseling] into a search engine. All kinds of advertising content that can be seen as promotion at a glance make people don’t know how to cope with it, and most of them are training advertisements that don’t pass without money.
Seeing various exposures and attacks on irregular [psychological counseling], many people are afraid to seek professional help. However, more people still do not know that they can have this choice.
Next, I would like to clarify the common misunderstanding of psychological counseling, explain some common [chaos], and tell you whether psychological counseling is what.
Isn’t it just [chatting]?
Many friends often come to me and ask me, what is psychological counseling all about?
I also have visitors who hit a wall everywhere in the process of looking for consultants, and have had various experiences of looking for consultants with me.
They also told me: If it weren’t for your friend as a consultant, I wouldn’t have known that I needed to pay attention to what. Maybe, I was really fooled by those [charlatans].
Then we might as well talk about what psychological counseling is usually like first.
I am often mistaken for [making money by talking nonsense with Hu Kan], so when I am cast with envious eyes, I feel a little embarrassed ~
In fact, psychological counseling is a cooperative therapy based on the counseling relationship between consultants and visitors. It is mainly talk therapy. Its purpose is to help people in need to improve their life troubles, so that their psychology is healthier, their interpersonal relationships are more harmonious, and they are more active and more in line with their own wishes to live.
To achieve these goals, it is impossible to achieve [just talk]. Psychological counseling is not as simple as [chatting].
By the way, in fact, in addition to talk therapy, there are many therapeutic methods under different schools, such as game therapy, art therapy, dance therapy, drama therapy and equestrian therapy.
As long as you pay the money, you can [see] all right?
I often tell my visitors that consulting is not like going to the hospital to see a doctor. I just need to tell the doctor the symptoms and wait for the doctor to prescribe the medicine and use the medicine as required to get well.
If it is necessary to use doctors as an analogy, psychological counseling is a gradual process just like surgeons performing operations.
Every move made by a doctor on the operating table is to save his life. Just like every word in the consultation, the consultant has a certain purpose to help you reflect and understand yourself.
Counselors usually need to know the current situation of visitors, and after some data collection and evaluation, they can discuss and negotiate a goal with visitors. This [goal] should be as close as possible to the goal or problem that visitors want to solve in psychological counseling.
Then, the formal [work] process starts, and the consultant will explore and solve the problem with the visitors.
Consulting in a cafe, romantic?
On weekdays, I also like to soak in cafes. Now all kinds of cafes in China are also scattered all over cities, large and small, and chatting in cafes has become a norm.
However, in psychological counseling, environmental setting is very important.
No matter what the form is, psychological consultants need to create a safe and supportive space for visitors to allow visitors to naturally express their thoughts and feelings.
However, this safe and supported space will need the following two conditions to meet:
- On the one hand, the most important thing is the psychological consultant himself. The consultant needs to explore their problems with the visitors with an unjudgmental, objective and open attitude. On the other hand, the environment of the consultation room is also very important. This space needs to be private, undisturbed and a place where people can feel relaxed when they enter.
Only in a confidential and safe place can we put down our guard and pour out the troubles that we are not willing to mention at ordinary times.
Although the environment of the cafe is elegant and warm, the busy customers and shop assistants around will interrupt the consultation and interview process at any time, which can be said to be the [big taboo] in the consultation.
So, should the normal occasion be how’s?
Under normal circumstances, the psychological consultant will agree with you on a suitable time, and the place will usually be in a safe and privacy-protected occasion.
- Specific consultation occasions, most of the time is the consultation room; Sometimes the consultation occasion will be set at the visitor’s home instead of the consultant’s home due to limited conditions. If it is family therapy, the consultant can also go to the visitor’s home for psychological intervention.
By the way, [online video consultation] is currently on the rise, which allows visitors and consultants to consult even if they do not sit together.
However, even in online consultation, consultants need to ensure the privacy of the space and the smooth and safe network with visitors-not to say that [consultants] can [open] with a camera.
Is it a good deal to buy ten times and give two times?
It is understood that as early as a few years ago, some consulting agencies began to promote all kinds of [packages] like [chain barbershops]. For example, if they pay 20 consulting fees in one lump sum, they can enjoy a certain discount and save some money.
When you meet such a consulting organization or a consultant practicing personally, don’t rush to give money, because it is inappropriate.
Everyone should remember that consultation is a process of [mutual selection].
The therapeutic effect of psychological counseling needs to promote problem solving and self-exploration through the motivation brought by the interaction between visitors and consultants.
Choosing the right consultant is a mutual process.
This is a bit like when we go on a blind date, we can’t just look at you and ignore whether we really feel comfortable.
Therefore, the psychological consultant’s early evaluation is very important, because it is very likely that your problem is beyond the consultant’s ability.
For example, if your condition is assessed by a consultant and requires medication, then psychiatrists may be better at it. It is also possible that you just don’t like the tone of the consultant’s speech. Such seemingly [trivial] but [very personal] factors need both parties to negotiate and consider referral.
Consult with me eight times, wrap it up?
I would like to know how many consultations my situation needs to be improved.
This is probably the first consultation or appointment consultation, and I was asked the most questions.
When a consultant claps his chest and vows to tell you that [after XX consultations, your problem will definitely be solved], please remember: this is not credible or responsible enough.
Psychological counseling is a very personal treatment method. The interaction and mutual promotion between consultants and visitors are constantly changing the treatment process.
Therefore, it is very irresponsible to throw out the above words after a short meeting. It is very likely that the consultant has not yet understood the overall situation of the visitors and has made a hasty judgment.
In the process of treatment with the consultant, the consultant may think that the changes that can only take place after 10 consultations will lead to some positive or negative promotion due to the visitors’ own efforts and life opportunities, thus shortening or prolonging the process.
In other words, the treatment process changes from time to time. At first, the consultant estimates that the goal can be reached eight times, and probably by the fourth time, he finds that it takes another eight times to get better, which is a common occurrence.
It’s not easy to do it once, can you get it together?
In most cases, the duration of consultation is between 50 minutes and 1 hour. Of course, the specific duration will sometimes be negotiated according to the specific situation of visitors, but it will be kept within 2 hours.
According to the length of the first consultation between the consultant and the visitor, there is no final conclusion as to how long a consultation must be fixed.
However, if the consultant says something like [it is not easy to interview once] and then completes the consultation for a total of 4 hours a month at a time, then I can definitely say that no matter how efficient your 4 hours of work are, the consultant is deserting 50% of the time in these 4 hours.
You know, concentration for such a long time is very exhausting of physical strength and concentration. What’s more, as you come to pour out, you will also be distracted due to too long a time.
Remember, this kind of consultation is not the best choice.
The extra time is counted separately?
There is another interesting thing, charging.
Sometimes, the consultant and the visitor originally agreed to consult for one hour, but because the visitor had [door handle effect], the consultation time was accidentally lengthened.
The so-called “doorknob effect” refers to the fact that visitors often turn their heads and say, “by the way, and…” when their hands touch the doorknob at the end of the consultation.
The narration at this time is often of vital importance to visitors.
So the two may sit down and continue to talk for a while. However, after the event, some consultants will ask visitors to pay for the extended time.
At this time, it is the consultant’s responsibility to master the time schedule. The consultant’s more reasonable operation mode is to slightly extend the consultation time, roughly understand the cause and effect of the problem, and then agree to further discuss next time.
The consultant has the responsibility and obligation to inform the visitor of his charging method before the consultation starts, whether it is calculated by one time or by the length of time. Generally speaking, the expenses caused by the delay should not be borne by the visitor, unless the visitor has negotiated with the consultant in advance that the charging method is charged by the hour.
In that case, visitors choose to do so when they have the right to know, instead of being forced to pay more.
These behaviors are also unreasonable!
In addition to the chaos mentioned above, during the consultation process, there are also some consultants who violate professional ethics and break confidentiality agreements.
The issue of professional ethics is actually very extensive and will not be discussed here for the time being. If you are interested in learning about it, I can write another popular science article on ethical issues later.
The more common ethical problem is the destruction of confidentiality agreements.
For example, if a visitor’s family wants to know the specific situation because they are concerned, they call a consultant and the consultant reports directly to the family without the visitor’s consent, then the consultant’s careless remarks violate the [principle of confidentiality] in the consulting ethics.
Also, although it sounds a little [dog blood], this may also occur…
When your consultant confesses to you that he loves you or uses his hands and feet on you, especially when some consultants say they are helping you but want to invade you under the guise of consulting, please don’t hesitate to call the police for help decisively.