Lu Lu, the mother of two children, said:
Having a second child has become a controversial topic.
Whether to have a second child or not is more important to one’s heart, just like bungee jumping, jumping or not?
01
Three years ago, when Sidi was five years old and Zimi was two years old, my friends and I had an appointment in a restaurant.
She also has two daughters, seven and five years old. The four little girls are of the same age and play together, while my ass has nails and I hardly have time to sit down.
After a while, Zi Mi hit the table. After a while, Sidi fell down. After a while, the two men quarreled and had a hard time stopping. They shouted in unison: “Mom, I’m going to pee.”
I stuffed a mouthful of food into my mouth and wanted to stand up again. My friend who had almost eaten said, “Eat, I’ll take the four of them with me.”
I relaxed for a while and sat down directly without even refusing. When my friend walked past me, he bent down and said, “I have finally passed your stage, so I especially understand you. After going to the bathroom, I’ll take them to the door to play for a while. You eat slowly. The beef is good.”
My friends’ support and consideration warmed my eyes. Beef is delicious, but it is completely cold. However, there is no need to stand by at any time. A moment of peace is really wonderful. It is not important to eat what.
People always say: Years of daughter-in-law has become a woman, I say: Years of mother has become a Buddha.
02
We invited two friends over for dinner.
One family has three children, the other has two children. Plus my two, suddenly, the floor is full of children in every gap.
These are all good children assessed by the school. They stayed at home all night [making havoc in heaven]. They jumped up and down, shouting, shouting, jumping on the sofa, climbing the table, crying and crying.
The children of the two friends were slightly younger, and the whole group had to follow them everywhere, always on guard, always pulling up and preaching. Until nine o’clock, everyone was exhausted, the mud was all over, and the children were shouting again.
I said, “Why don’t you put on an animated film?” ]
When the TV music sounded, every adult breathed a sigh of relief. They are all parents with higher education. When it comes to the harmfulness of watching TV, they know better than anyone else.
However, after receiving more higher education, first of all, he is a big living person, and there are always moments when he is exhausted and cannot hold on.
In the second half of my life, I fought for health. As soon as I got on the stage, I fought for the speed of flash charging.
To the relief of Mr. Lu and I, today we have finally succeeded in promotion and no longer need to follow the children’s footsteps.
I can finally start the happy life of my second mother.
03
In 2016, the country will fully open its second child. In 2017, the national birth rate will decrease by 630,000.
Nowadays, people with high emotional intelligence will not talk about having a second child at the dinner table. No matter how to say it, commendatory or derogatory, some people will think that you are giving birth in a different way. The light ones are cynical and the heavy ones are angry with you.
Whether to have a second child or not has become a front question about whether politics is correct.
[Where did the money come from? ]
Pregnancy preparation, milk powder diapers, early childhood education kindergartens, private school tuition… every year to 20 to 300 thousand. Public schools? There should be millions of housing in the school district? A child is already a spent force, plus a double, where does the money come from?
[Who, can see? ]
Having a second child, the old man is old and has limited physical strength and energy. Looking for an aunt is at risk of being burned to death. Mom takes baby at home full-time? There is a loss of income in the family. Please go back to the previous question: Where does the money come from?
04
What’s more, how to reconcile the tension between the two children?
Today, both parents are only children and grandparents have only raised one child. How to balance the tension between brothers and sisters has become an endangered craft full of crises.
Some people always say: [My two children, especially loving each other, have never had a problem! I can only [ha ha, you are really lucky].
The horror of this problem lies in the fact that many people choose to block it automatically because parents do not want to see it.
It is like a wound on the body. It is not faced squarely, cleaned, treated or evaded. Although some of them are getting better slowly, most of them are getting worse and worse and engraved into bones.
These are not to mention the questions that make mothers most confused and unconscious with one stick: [Excuse me, how do you balance career and family? ]
The existence of this problem is itself a provocation to women?
Why doesn’t anyone ask men? Who would like to ask Jack Ma: [Excuse me, how do you balance career and family? ]
05
When Sidi was nearly two years old, a mother who was playing together said, “I am five weeks pregnant.” The light on her face was not the acceleration of hormone secretion, but the true happiness.
When I got home at night, I said to Lu Zhonghan, “I want to have a second child!” ]
The situation at that time was as follows: I had no career and did not need to think about how to balance career and family; Sidi did not study and did not expect that the original education funds were so heavy. Living in the dormitory of the company, I don’t have to pay the rent or even the electricity bill. To be honest, I, a woman with a big heart, decided to have a second child without going through her brain.
Surprisingly, Mr. Lu, who even had to make an EXCEL form to buy a coffee machine, did not turn on the computer after listening to my announcement, but asked me, “Have you thought it over?” ]
I nodded and he said only one word: [OK.]
The difference between the two children was one month. I could wear my maternity clothes and the baby’s clothes again. At first I said triumphantly, “Look, having a second child doesn’t cost much more.”
However, the situation changed sharply in the second year. Mr. Lu’s contract was changed. We braved the 43-degree high temperature to look at houses all over Shanghai. Each intermediary said: “Why do you have to rent three bedrooms? Two bedrooms are much cheaper.”
06
This is just the beginning.
Sidi, who enjoys exclusive favor, cannot accept the arrival of Zimi. Often one cries and the other cries, shouting at his mother with his small hands open. But mother, what should I do?
One is ill, the other is bound to be ill, sometimes the second is well, the first is ill again, one beach after another, in a hurry.
When Zimi grows up, he wants to wear new clothes, new shoes and new toys. The palms and backs of his hands are full of meat. With what’s sister dressed like a princess, her sister can only wear old clothes? As a result, the things in the house soared and could not be found at all.
Zi Mi went to work at the age of two, but the public could not sign up, so he had to go to the private. The card reader broke down and had to pay cash. Looking at the place where the cash counter was rushing, I held Zi Mi, who was meat and milk, and said silently in my heart: “Baby, mother loves you.”
Zi Mi suddenly turned his head, pulled my face with his small meat hand, and said loudly in front of a room full of people: “Mom, I love you.” Mother and child are connected, and I tried my best not to let tears flow down.
Later, when I went to kindergarten, I chose to transfer money from the bank. I am a woman with a big heart. As long as I do not have negative numbers, it is good. It doesn’t matter if I have more or less.
Having a second child, the family is bigger, the car is bigger, and the plane is more expensive.
Adding a person is not adding a pair of chopsticks at all, but changing our family structure from three sides to four sides, adding a whole face.
07
Two years ago, when I was dragging my two children around the world, women often asked me, “Do you feel what when you have a second child?” ]
Looking at their talking faces, I understood that the question I didn’t ask in the second half was: Do you regret it? Is it stressful? Has the quality of life declined? Can you handle it?
In the past two years, We Media’s status and income have been demonized by the world.
When people saw me, they all thought I was a capital RMB, so they all said: “We can’t compare with you. You are so successful, so capable, and can give children such good conditions. Having a second child is a luxury and we can’t afford it…”
In fact, my life has not changed. I am still the worried mother. Dragging two alive and kicking children, I have to stop to discipline the children every three steps and don’t get into trouble. I have to shout aloud every five steps: “I want to put you back into my stomach.”
However, the fastest growing child in the world is the child. Sidi is almost 140 years old, with long legs and tilted buttocks. She is graceful and graceful. Zimi has also grown to 110 years old. She often pretends to be a baby with a wrinkled face because she knows that she is no longer a baby.
08
When people reach middle age, they are tired and seldom happy. For me, the most inflated moment is to hold each other on the sofa, one by one, and shout crisp together: “Mom, Mom, I love you.”
Even if the next sentence is: [Can we watch IPAD? Can we have chocolate? Can we wear new clothes? …]
It can also make my old mother, who has been fried into bagasse, full of tears and joy.
Once a reader came to me and asked me: “Why are all the articles I see everywhere talking about the trouble of having a second child, the difficulty of having a second child and the pressure of having a second child?” Why didn’t you see those women who gave birth to a second child and tell them whether a second child is a burden or sweet? ]
I thought for a moment and said: [To be practical and realistic, women who have given birth to a second child are basically regretful when they come out of their lives, for example, I. Crying while dragging my support, regretting while indulging.]
[Then why didn’t anyone sketch the feeling of having a second child and give the world a reminder? ]
[Because those mothers who have two children are too happy to take care of the world’s objections.]
I once saw a public opinion survey. In fact, after a series of linkage reactions, the happiness of families who have really given birth to a second child has greatly improved on the whole.
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