In the popular variety show < < Where’s Dad Going 4 > >, a new model of “Intern Dad + Meng Wa” has been added. As guests, the father and children are not real father and son/father and daughter (Zhang Lunshuo Koala belongs to stepfather and daughter), but are actually strange men taking care of other people’s children.
As a variety show with a wide audience, even if it is a program, is it really appropriate to arrange children of three or four years old to be called strange adult male fathers and let them eat and live together intimately? This is because it is not ruled out that adults with ulterior motives will imitate the way on TV to approach young children to achieve the goal of what. However, seeing that children in the program are so close to [internship father], how should real children treat strangers they meet in life? Will those hostile people be regarded as “internship dads”?
According to incomplete statistics, in the three years from 2013 to 2015 alone, 968 cases of sexual abuse of children were exposed by the media across the country, with more than 1,790 child victims. In 2015, the daily number of cases of sexual abuse of children exposed reached 0.95, and almost one case of sexual abuse of children occurred every day.
Among the cases of sexual abuse of children publicly reported in 2015, 240 cases were committed by acquaintances, accounting for 70.59%. Acquaintances also include teachers, neighbors, relatives, etc. Among them, 71 cases were committed by teachers, 33 cases by neighbors, and 29 cases were committed by family members (such as fathers, brothers, stepfathers, etc.).
At the same time, due to many subjective and objective factors in reality, most cases of sexual abuse of children are difficult to be disclosed. In cases of sexual abuse, especially for primary and secondary school students, the ratio of hidden cases is 1: 7. In other words, the exposure of one case of sexual abuse of children may mean that seven cases have already occurred.
In the face of such harsh reality, it is really necessary to give children comprehensive sex education, let them understand the boundaries between people and others, and guide children to learn to protect themselves.
These must be taught to children.
1. Teach him the difference between men and women
As the child grows up, he will begin to be curious about his own body and that of others, and will slowly notice that his body is different from that of his father or mother.
Before the child takes the initiative to ask, parents can first tell the child the correct names of various body parts and their functions, and tell him the differences between men and women. For example, with the help of the opportunity to take a bath, you can help your child identify body parts, breasts, pudendum, penis, testicles and other parts cannot be skipped past.
2. Tell him that his body is inviolable
After children understand the differences between body parts and men and women, they should further tell them which parts belong to private parts and parts that others cannot touch. Both boys and girls should pay attention to protecting their privacy. According to the survey statistics, about 8% of boys and 20% of girls among minors have been sexually assaulted.)
The parts covered by small vests and underpants are private parts, which cannot be seen or touched by others. Do not look or touch other people’s private parts yourself. Everyone’s body is inviolable, whether it is private parts or other parts of the body, if someone makes you uncomfortable, you can refuse.
At the same time, it should also be explained to the child that doctors, nurses or family members sometimes come into contact with his private parts, but such contact not only needs to explain the reasons, but also needs to obtain the child’s consent.
Tell your child that when the following situations occur, you must tell your trusted family/teacher:
- Someone looked at or touched your private parts; Someone showed you or let you touch their private parts; Someone showed you pictures or movies with private parts. Someone has done something strange to you or something you think strange.
At the same time, we should also emphasize to our children that touching private parts is not a game or a secret. If someone tells you that this is a game or this is a little secret between us, we must tell parents. If someone threatens you (for example, if you dare to say it, you will be how how, and you are not allowed to tell others such words), you must also tell your trusted family and tell your children that adults will protect him. This is not his fault.
3. Teach him to protect gender privacy
When the child is still very young, attention should be paid to protecting the child’s privacy, such as changing diapers in private space, avoiding wearing open-backed pants, going to the toilet and bathing should also be assisted by parents or other major caregivers, and gradually teaching the child to finish by himself.
When the child is older and can go to the toilet, take a bath and change clothes on his own, he should warn the child not to offend others when doing these activities. Similarly, he should also tell the child that you should not offend others when going to the toilet, changing clothes and taking a bath.
How to give children sex education?
When talking about sex with their children, the saddest thing is often their own level. Traditional education and concepts make many parents ashamed to talk about sex. However, teaching their children correct sexual knowledge is the real protection for their children.
1. Talk frankly and naturally about [sex]
Sexual knowledge, like other natural knowledge and humanistic knowledge, is one of the basic knowledge that everyone needs to know. Parents should first straighten out their mentality and talk about sex with their children frankly and naturally.
When a child asks sex-related questions (such as where I came from and pointing to my penis to ask this is what), he should respond to the child in a timely manner. He can observe the child’s understanding ability and understanding level by asking rhetorical questions or questions before answering the child’s questions.
If you can’t answer at the moment, or don’t know how to answer is the most appropriate, then tell the child frankly that you don’t know the answer yet, but you will check it and then tell him again, instead of jumping over or making up words casually to deceive the child.
Step 2 Use the correct name
When discussing sexual knowledge with children, we should try our best to choose the correct words that are simple and conform to the children’s age. We should not use surnames (such as bananas, cucumbers, small tintin, small steamed buns, etc.) or make up a word by ourselves.
Don’t think that the child is still young, there is no need or even shouldn’t say the correct name to him, but the most important thing in sex education is honesty. If even parents are unwilling to tell their children the correct name, then how can they talk about honesty?
Let the child know the correct name, let the child understand what sex is all about, and also prevent the child from being unaware of it after being violated, even thinking that this is a game and a manifestation of closeness.
In many cases of sexual abuse of minors, children will only use such words as [front] [back] or [Penis] [banana] because they do not know the correct name of sexual organs. It is easy for suspects to justify this, which may lead to situations where sentencing cannot be clearly defined or even conviction is difficult.
Step 3: Choose a comfortable way
When talking about sexual knowledge with children, it is very normal to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. Parents also need a process of self-adaptation and exploration.
At ordinary times, it is very important to pay more attention and think, and find out a comfortable way to talk about sexual knowledge with children. For example, some parents use picture books to help their children understand and relieve embarrassing feelings.
Sex Education Suitable for Children of Different Ages
The age at which children can start sex education is definitely earlier than most parents think. Don’t worry that children don’t understand, let alone think it is too dirty to talk about sex.
0 ~ 2 years old: correct introduction of body organs
Although the baby is still very young, parents can start to use the correct words to introduce the body parts for the baby from this time on. When bathing and dressing, it is natural to tell the child vulva, vagina, breast, nipple, penis, scrotum, testis and other parts.
2 ~ 3 years old: distinguish the difference between men and women,
At this stage, children will slowly notice the gender differences between men and women, and will be curious about their own bodies and those of others. Parents can introduce the body parts and the functions of each body part to their children to help them better identify the body parts and the differences between men and women.
4 ~ 5 years old: curious about where the baby comes from,
When the child asks where I came from, the parents can try to ask: What do you think? This rhetorical question can help parents understand their children’s understanding and the question they really care about and want to ask is what.
Such a big child can already understand the process of giving birth to a baby: a sperm (similar to a very small seed) and an egg (similar to a very small egg) are combined, and then slowly grow up to become a baby; Babies need to grow in a place called uterus in their mother’s body. When answering questions for children, attention should also be paid to using simple language as much as possible.
6 ~ 8 years old: curious about how babies come into being,
Children of this age will want to know how babies are born. If the child asks: How does the baby enter the mother’s womb and grow up? Parents can still try to ask their children what they think first, so that we can know how much their children already know.
When answering, you should still follow the principle of being as simple as possible. For example, explain: to have a baby, you need to combine the sperm provided by men with the eggs provided by women. If you don’t think it is appropriate to say these things or don’t know how to express them more appropriately, you can read the relevant books with your child.
In addition, parents should not always wait for their children to ask and then try to answer. In fact, they can also take the initiative to ask their children, [Do you know how babies are born? How does the baby grow into their mother’s body? ]
It is really not easy to talk about sex with children. Choose a way that both oneself and children feel comfortable. Popularizing correct sexual knowledge for children as soon as possible will benefit them for a lifetime.