It is not uncommon for children to borrow toys before leaving when they play together, especially when inviting children to come home to play.
The other side’s baby refused to budge, refused to leave until he could borrow toys, rolled around and cried all over the floor, and the other side’s parents coerced us into laughter. It was really REAL’s embarrassment and dilemma:
Why don’t you talk to the baby? Lend it to somebody else for fun? This is afraid of wronged their baby…
Directly explain the refusal, the other parents don’t say anything, psychological must think I am very stingy, too lose face…
Most afraid of encountering this kind of gourmet situation:
For the sake of Eva’s minor dispute, everyone was depressed in the end?
Don’t worry, the secret lies in the rule of perfect refusal for children without losing face taught by Mr. Qin Nan.
How can we “help our children refuse perfectly without losing face”?
There are three moves below, which can be used alone or combined to deal with the actual situation.
Tip 1: Describe perceptual refusal
When being asked for toys by the other child, it is definitely necessary to stand firmly on the side of his baby. If Eva does not agree, she will refuse.
However, refusing requires skills. How can one let the other’s children or parents give up automatically after empathy? For example, chestnuts:
Your aunt knows that you like this toy very much, but my family XX also likes it very much. This toy is his most beloved friend and he has to sleep together every night (a specific example of his love of this toy can also describe the painstaking efforts the child has spent to get this toy).
So, you see, if this toy is taken away, he will be very sad.
Clear, specific and resolute refusal, on the one hand, is to facilitate the parents of the other party to report and inform the content, on the other hand, it is also to inform the mother of the child that she will protect your favorite toys with you, which is a great supplement to trust.
At this time, most of the children who are older and know a little will give up automatically.
Tip 2: Divert your attention and provide other possibilities.
When the first move is useless and the other child is still insisting on borrowing toys, we can use this move next.
XX (name of friend’s child), do you have any toys you especially like in what? (If the child answers no, he can seek help from the other parent)
On behalf of XX (my own child), I formally invite you to bring your favorite toys next time and have a big party with our toys. You can see how happy your toys can play with our toys ~ ~ (add a specific thing that will happen between toys)
Let mom take you home first and prepare well, okay? (Ask the other’s parents for help in due course)
While diverting attention, it also implies that the other parents can take this opportunity to adjust their children’s emotions. It also provides possible active sharing opportunities for their children in the future.
If the parents of the other party are more reasonable, basically this trick can be successful, and in the process of thinking about sharing toys together next time, today’s play will be finished perfectly.
Tip 3: Prepare for a rainy day and prepare gifts in advance.
Some mothers said that I had used the first two moves, but it was really useless. The other child did not eat hard or soft, and was anxious to death…
Well, then Ding Ma will teach you the third trick at this time: if you know that the other party will bring the children to visit, buy one or two small toys in advance and give them away as gifts before you finally leave.
Auntie has a little surprise for you today. You did really well today. Welcome to play again next time.
(At the same time, I will give another copy to my child, praise the child’s little master for doing a good job today, and send out the next invitation to the other child.)
As a result, the other child has been praised and recognized, and there are also small surprises. Most of them will forget their previous attachment to toys and then go home happily with surprises. At the same time, you also give your child a vivid small class on sharing, being kind to others and making friends.