It is difficult to raise children, and it is even more difficult to educate them.
Parents had a hard time climbing and rolling through customs on the way to feed their babies, and they had to begin to face all kinds of early education problems for their babies.
After listening to too many reasons, Dr. Clove invited Mr. Ye Zhuang to bring us his baby’s own story today.
The theme is big but small-it is about how to teach children to love.
01 Story of Injection
A few days ago, my wife took her son, who had just turned half a year old, to the community hospital for a vaccination.
It is not windy, it is not rainy, it is sunny, I thought it should be a very smooth trip. According to past experience, after all, the community hospital is not far from home, mother and child go together, plus my mother, the right-hand man, can handle this matter in an hour.
When I came home from work at night, my mother had already returned to their old couple’s residence. My wife cooked, and I was holding the child nearby, chatting one by one.
It seemed that she suddenly remembered what and gave me a fright when she slapped the kitchen knife across the chopping board.
[It was not the doctor who gave the child an injection today! ]
But it is strange that there is what. You can’t expect to equip your children with a full-time doctor. She said from this, telling me that what happened today.
After the injection, the child stayed outside to observe, but he was crying all the time. He cried at the top of his voice for half an hour, so that he frequently glanced at strange eyes. When the child cried until he was exhausted and fell asleep, my mother told her in a tone of past people that this might be caused by the doctor’s injection too hard and pushing too fast.
As soon as I think about it, it is really the case. So many injections!
My wife drew a distance between the thumb and index finger of her right hand and reached me.
[Poof! ]
[My heart is breaking to see the children suffer so much.]
This is a concluding statement.
02 Wife’s Words
What I didn’t expect was that this sentence was repeated four times in one night.
While eating; When bathing his son; After coaxing the children in the evening, when the couple were ready to go to bed-she told me the story and related conclusions three times.
When a mother loves her child, I understand that I am not qualified to say what if I fail to attend the scene during the day to fulfill my duty.
I asked my wife: [Do you know why Mom knows that the injection for the child is fast and the child is in special pain? ]
She laid the sleeping child gently on the bed:
[Mom said that when you were a child, you always suffered from this crime when you had injections. She knew best how you felt here. I remember your question. Today, she talked about several times that you suffered from injections when you were a child. After such a long time in the past, she still cares so much.]
It’s very simple, because whoever has a son loves each other.
[You were poor enough when you were a child and suffered so many crimes.]
Wife, I have been waiting for you to say this for half a night.
I don’t want to compete with my young son. I just worry about my own family and enter a common parenting misunderstanding.
It is mistaken that pouring love is the only way to cultivate the ability to love.
We all ignore this point in educating our children.
Five or six years ago, I gave lessons to parents. People were most interested in the cultivation of intelligence and skills.
At that time, in the question-and-answer session of the training, the questions asked by parents were more related to learning skills.
Nowadays, parents are paying more and more attention to the content related to emotional intelligence development, and [how to teach children to share] and [how to cultivate children’s social skills] have become common problems. Obviously, no one wants their children to become [Xiong Haizi].
With the arrival of the baby, families have invested a lot of resources in their children’s education, from material to spiritual.
The qualities that parents once attached great importance to can be cultivated by devotion.
If you talk more to your child, his vocabulary will be larger. If you let your child listen to music every day, his sense of music will increase. If you take your child to the exhibition every day, his artistic appreciation ability will be improved. The input and output of this ability are not difficult to convert.
However, the quality that parents value now is much more complicated to cultivate-maybe you, like me, are willing to share everything in your life with your children, but we must admit that even so, he is still likely not to learn to share.
One mother told me that she placed special emphasis on developing her children’s ability to share.
She emphasized sharing in her communication with children. She encourages children to actively share in every social occasion. In her eyes, she practiced what she wanted to teach.
But when I asked about the father of the child, she said the following words: “My child, who is very close to me, does not kiss his father at all. Just look for me, never like to be with his father. I also think this is quite good, the child is so young, kissing his mother is too normal, father can’t help what anyway.]
You don’t want to share your own children with your husband. Do you want your children to learn to share with what?
Only when parents love each other can they teach their children better love.
The popularity is called “emotional intelligence” and the feelings are called “love”. For many similar abstract abilities related to social interaction, giving and infusing are not necessarily a universal training method.
In order to cultivate children’s ability, we should not only let them become beneficiaries of this ability, but also let them become observers of this ability.
Albert Bandura’s experiment is already convincing enough. Children who see violence learn violence, and children who see kindness learn kindness. It is not only when they have been beaten that they know that beating people will hurt others. People do not have to be participants, and their status as observers has influenced them enough.
The indifference between husband and wife has become a common situation in many families.
The couple put too much energy, accompanied by hot eyes, on their children, which inevitably increased the probability of ignoring each other.
People think that loving him can make him learn to love, but it is often forgotten. Let him see the sweetness of your couple, which is the correct perspective for him to learn and cherish love.
Most of the time, you love his father, perhaps more than loving him, can let him know that what is love.
Your compassion for her mother may let her know that what cares better than caring for her.
As a parent, full love is not a problem. It is rare for a child to face the problem of [lack of love]. However, emotional vectors do not all point directly to the child, which may not make him understand the true meaning of love.
At this time, you should understand that parents should not only express their love, but also become [models of love].