Some mothers left messages telling them about Eva’s [eccentricities] that she was really ashamed to say:
The baby is over 2 years old, always fiddling with his own [penis], and he will have an erection… how can this be good…
My daughter is 4 years old, and I found her playing with her private parts several times when she took a bath. This is too abnormal.
Parents are worried and embarrassed. Did the baby learn to play rascal when he was so young? !
Some parents are impatient and will use threats, beating and scolding to stop the baby, but the result is very little. The baby will hide from adults [playing] after learning [thieves], which is really a headache.
In fact, parents really don’t have to worry too much about these situations. Why? Dr. Clove invited Zuo Fei, a child psychological consultant, to have a good chat.
Why do babies have these [hobbies of shame]?
The answer is very simple, because the normal development of these children’s phased needs.
Babies between 1 and 3 years old are at a stage of learning the cognition and identification of gender. They will not only learn and distinguish gender through visual cognition, but also distinguish and identify themselves with gender through the process of self-exploration.
In addition to the gender difference in appearance, the difference in private parts is also an important part they explore. For example, boys have [little brother] and girls have [little sister]. At the same time, they know that they did not grow up in Mao Mao when they were young, and when they grow up, they can be like adults, etc.
However, unconscious touch and exploration may cause the pleasure of stimulating organs. The older the baby is, the more frequent it will be when it knows [touch and have pleasure].
Generally speaking, most children [self-touch] will disappear by themselves when the child is 6-7 years old and will not affect his health.
The opposite baby’s [quirks], don’t do this
After understanding that [self-touching] is only the normal periodic behavior of the baby, parents need not worry too much.
The behavior of the baby fiddling with the genitals will certainly embarrass adults, but these behaviors are often just out of curiosity. Parents think it is [hooliganism] or even [shame], and it is just the behavior label that adults put on their children.
In the face of these behaviors of the baby, these two ways are absolutely not recommended:
- Repeatedly stressed that some parents will repeatedly remind the baby [don’t touch] [don’t touch], but this will not only have no effect, but will strengthen the importance of this matter in the baby’s subconscious mind and stimulate the child to try. Some parents will use language to accuse [how shameful you are to do this] or even thugs to stop it. This will make the baby fear, fear the sexual organs and affect the future sexual cognition.
Guide the baby, parents can do this
But the baby [self-touch] is really very frequent, even seven or eight times a day, can’t just let it go?
My family is not only at home, but also occasionally [playing with penis] when going out to play, which is too embarrassing…
If parents really care, it is suggested that parents can guide their children from these aspects:
1. Divert your attention and be gentle and firm.
When we find the baby fiddling with his genitals, we can say to the baby, “I have a very interesting game. Do you want to play it together?” ] Or take out small toys to play with her, or even watch cartoons and eat a snack to divert her attention and prevent her from forming bad habits of fiddling with her genitals.
In addition, when diverting attention, the attitude should be gentle and firm, and don’t be too frightened and worried. Otherwise, the baby will feel that his parents mind his own behavior and will be sensitive to capture that fear, which may cause the baby’s rebellion and more attachment to his genitals, or on the contrary, he will feel inferior to himself.
2. Proper sex education
Babies have these [eccentricities], so parents can let go of their minds and talk about sex with their children or help their children identify with them.
- Babies under the age of 3 can take advantage of the opportunity to bathe with their parents of the same sex/opposite sex, Let the child know how his opposite sex body is, Frequent visits and personal contact will gradually eliminate curiosity. After the age of 3, babies begin to have the concept of shame and privacy. You can take advantage of the time when parents and children of the same sex bathe together or bathe alone. Talk about why the body of same-sex adults is different from that of children, and tell the baby [it will become like this when you grow up, don’t worry and worry]. After the child understands, he can also reason with the child to tell the child not to explore his body in public and protect his privacy.
Parents should also pay attention to these things,
1. Try not to wear open-backed pants for children,
If the baby likes to play with his genitals, Wearing open-backed pants is undoubtedly a disguised form of encouraging babies to explore, If the genitals are exposed for a long time, the baby may frequently touch and play with the genitals, which is not hygienic. It may also cause others to look askance and parents to dislike each time the genitals are played. If the parents do not guide and stop them directly, it will make the baby want to play more, causing a vicious circle and not good for physical and mental development.
2. Try to avoid suspicion when parents make out.
When parents enjoy the world of two people, try to avoid the baby. Don’t think that the child doesn’t understand. The child’s learning ability and curiosity are unusual.
In these cases, you need to see a doctor.
Sometimes, it is true that the baby has certain psychological or physical diseases, and we still need to be more vigilant to prevent unnecessary risks.
If the following behaviors occur, we may have to consult professional doctors and institutions:
1. Constantly grasping one’s lower body or red swelling and bleeding, which may be local infection or disease, needless to say, one must see a doctor;
2. Masturbating in public after the age of 5;
3. Attention diversion failed and the behavior became more frequent and intense.
Finally, Dr. Clove wants to say that the baby’s masturbation is usually only a form of exploration.
As a child grows up, his behavior will be more in line with his age.
As parents, the best way to deal with it should be to understand and guide them and give them more love, instead of labeling them or even fixing them.