Look at other people’s husbands who take care of all the baby’s affairs in an orderly way after they are busy. Look at their husbands again, there is only [Ge You lying down] at home.
Maybe you have complained about your husband more than once and even regretted that you had lost sight of him, but do you know? There are very few natural dads, and most of the dads that others admire are nurtured step by step by their mothers.
Ding Ma invited a second treasure mother with super dads to learn from her experience.
Children are born as children, but parents are not born as parents. Today, let’s talk about how super dads were formed.
First, during pregnancy, father’s sense of participation will be cultivated.
You know, mom started ten months earlier than dad!
From the beginning of pregnancy, pregnancy vomiting, enlarged belly, erratic appetite… all remind the expectant mother that she is going to be a mother. However, the expectant father, who has almost no physical changes, often does not realize that he is going to be a father.
Therefore, mothers should constantly remind him that he is going to be a father.
How can I remind you? Look down:
Let my husband accompany me to the prenatal examination. Don’t just let him do the work of queuing up to carry the bag. Let him share the prenatal examination process and doctor’s advice with you.
Choose baby products together and ask him more for his advice.
Talk more to the children in your belly.
Learn parenting knowledge together, such as sharing reliable parenting articles and attending parenting lectures held by regular hospitals.
In short, it is necessary to seize every opportunity to remind my husband that he is going to be a father!
Second, mothers need to learn to let go and encourage
Don’t always think that children can’t leave themselves, or don’t let them try if they worry that their father can’t do it well. Learn to let father and children get along alone.
At first, you can take a bath, go to the toilet, cut fruit and other opportunities to disappear for a short period of 5-10 minutes, leaving your father [to] take care of the children alone. Then you can give your father some specific tasks and let him try to complete them independently.
Every successful attempt will gradually adapt them to the new role of [father].
At the same time, mother should allow father to make mistakes properly.
After all, there are only a few people who can do well for the first time. Don’t be furious just because they screwed up once: you know, you are lovers, comrades in arms, partners and need to help each other on the way to child-rearing.
He didn’t abandon your ignorance of assembly and maintenance, and you didn’t complain that he was blank in bringing up children-only through constant guidance and encouragement can they grow up with you in raising children.
Third, we should learn parenting skills with our father.
The vast majority of mothers complain about their husbands in the same way: [He doesn’t do it what! ] and [he can’t do well in what! ]
However, if you haven’t learned it, then what is not very normal.
Instead of complaining about them [what can’t do it well], teach them how to do it. Instead of complaining about them [what doesn’t do it], tell them they need you to be what now.
In this process, don’t ask and complain at the same time, and don’t have too many instructions and prompts. Try to make your instructions short, easy to understand and operable. You are guiding him and telling him the specific method. Instead of ordering him, rebuking him.
For example, if you want your father to wash your child’s clothes, don’t directly order him to [wash your child’s dirty clothes], but like this [if your child’s clothes have milk stains, you have to rub them several times with soap, rub them clean, and then dry them on the balcony.]
In short, let Dad feel that you are providing help for him, not guiding, ordering or accusing him. Otherwise, Dad will have resentment: you can do it, you can do it, always say I can’t do it, then I simply quit!
Speaking of which, you will surely find that many of the above instructions are actually difficult to say clearly in a few words. For example, if it seems simple to change diapers, the matters that novice fathers need to pay attention to include at least: how to wrap diapers, how to wipe/wash small farts, how much hip cream is needed, how to wipe hip cream, how to wrap diapers, how to prevent wet pads/sheets, etc.
One trick is to break down what needs to be done into each step, write it down and stick it in the right place.
For example, how to appease crying babies:
Step 1: Gently hold it up and coax it.
Step 2: Check the diaper
Step 3: If the diaper is wet or has defecation, change the diaper.
Step 4: If the diaper is dry, give it to your mother for breast-feeding.
Step 5: If you still cry after eating milk, consider intestinal spasm and need to hold more and appease more.
How to change diapers:
Step 1: Observe the whole urine. Changing from yellow to blue/green indicates that there is defecation or urination.
Step 2: Observe whether there is stool on the diaper from the side or back.
Step 3: Remove diapers and prepare to wash your buttocks.
Step 4: Rinse the baby’s buttocks with warm water that does not feel hot on the arm.
Step 5: Use special towel or paper towel to pat gently, softly and slowly, dip in the water on the buttocks, and dry it slightly.
Step 6: If you have red buttocks, bake them carefully with incandescent lamp.
Step 7: extrude about XX-sized buttock protection cream near that anus and apply it evenly
Step 8: Wrap the diaper well. After the tightness is wrapped well, it is advisable to extend 2 fingers into the waist of the diaper.
Step 9: Tidy up the diapers on the thighs
Step 10: Get dressed
How to hold a baby:
Step 1: Hold your neck with one hand and your buttocks with the other.
Step 2: Bend over and approach the baby
Step 3: Hold your hands firmly and stick your baby to your chest.
Step 4: The baby’s head can be placed on the elbow.
Step 5: Pay attention to protect the neck and try not to hold it vertically for the first three months.
How to help breastfeeding:
Step 1: Gently ask your mother if she is ready for breast-feeding (breast-overflow pad, breast-feeding stool, etc.)
Step 2: Hold the baby firmly and slowly pass it to the prepared mother.
Step 3: Try to keep the surrounding environment quiet during lactation.
Step 4: Mom may be thirsty and hungry after breast-feeding. Please prepare water and snacks.
How to make milk powder:
Step 1: Wash hands with soap
Step 2: Prepare sterilized milk bottles, nipple milk powder, matching milk powder spoons and stirring bars/spoons
Step 3, cool that hot water to 40-50 degree
Step 4: In strict accordance with the proportion in the milk powder instructions, add water first and then milk powder.
Step 5: Use a stirring bar/spoon to stir quickly and evenly, and then cover the nipple
Step 6: Don’t shake violently, don’t shake up and down to avoid bubbles.
Step 7: Drop 1-2 drops of milk on the back of the hand to test the temperature, and then feed the baby when the temperature is appropriate.
Step 8: Pour out the remaining milk after one hour and do not feed it again.
Step 9: After feeding milk, use special washing tools to clean, disinfect and dry it carefully.
How to take a bath (supported bathtub version):
Step 1: Put 37 ~ 40 degrees of warm water, and the water surface should not exceed the baby’s chest.
Step 2: Hold the baby’s neck and buttocks firmly and scrub the baby’s head and buttocks with special cloth dipped in water respectively.
Step 3: Gently put the baby into the water and gently scrub the whole body.
Step 4: Pay attention to cleaning skin folds, as well as seams on hands and feet, armpits and thighs.
Step 5: If you encounter peeling, scrub it gently and do not clean it hard.
Step 6: Hold the baby firmly on the bath towel and carry it back to the crib after wrapping it.
Step 7: After wrapping the diaper, wipe the baby with lotion and touch it.
Step 8: Clean the bath tub and dry the bath towel
How to touch:
Step 1: Touch the child when he is in a good mood after taking a bath.
Step 2: Apply a proper amount of moisturizing lotion to both hands, and apply moisturizing lotion to children by gently twisting.
Step 3: Smear forehead and face; Big arm, forearm, finger; Thighs, calves, toes; The back or buttocks; Apply X-shaped smear to the chest; Smear the abdomen clockwise around the navel.
Step 4: You can touch and talk to the baby while you are doing what.
(Touch can be illustrated with pictures, which is more vivid)
How to coax sleep (basic version, not considering sleep training):
Step 1: Observe that when the child starts rubbing his eyes and yawns, he needs to sleep.
Step 2: Dim the room light and reduce the volume of the room.
Step 3: Hold the child firmly and stick it to your chest.
Step 4: Walk slowly and rhythmically or shake slightly while singing.
Step 5: Pull the baby’s hand slightly and then let it go. If the baby does not respond, it means he is asleep and can put it down.
Step 6: If you put down your baby and cry again, you can pat the baby and sing to coax you to sleep.
Step 7: If you fail to coax sleep again, take a deep breath first and then try to continue coaxing sleep.
Step 8: If it is difficult to sleep, you may need to nurse and change diapers.
Step 9: The baby with intestinal spasm is difficult to fall asleep and needs patience. More hugs will make him feel better.
The advantage of this is that everyone has reached a consensus on the sequence of how to take care of the baby, and can follow the agreed steps, which will also give novice fathers rules to follow.
Raising children seems simple, but in fact many details are not well understood without personal operation-after writing the above “little notes”, you will find that there are really many matters needing attention in raising children! Therefore, it is very useful for fathers to write down the steps in detail at the beginning.
Another advantage is that it makes dads feel like they are learning, not being scolded by you. Believe me, dads are more willing to look at the strategies on paper and learn them step by step than constantly scolding, guiding and correcting them-even if you wrote them all.