Another story of beating chicken blood.
Mima is the mother of a 2-year-old child, and now she is also a busy white-collar mother. In my eyes, she has a share of tenacity.
[From pregnancy until now, I have not stopped moving forward. When I was pregnant, I had a holiday and had a rest. I took the time to review and take the CPA examination. After the baby was born, I read all kinds of parenting books and learned all kinds of children’s songs and stories. At the same time, my husband and I are still in love and sweet, and the two-person world will meet from time to time.]
Recently, she became interested in writing and began to write by herself.
However, like this, she is now sitting in front of me, frowning.
[I feel a lot of pressure], Mima’s opening remarks surprised me.
[I think it is very difficult for me to be a what, and there is no way to make me happy]
[I seem to be a super rabbit that never stops. I didn’t know what was the end. What was the time I could not do it in what].
Mi Ma seldom behaves so helplessly in front of me, but her eyes are deep like black holes now.
I can see that she is very tired.
What can I do to reassure myself? What can I do to be worthy of myself? ]
I responded to her like this: [In fact, you have worked hard enough, and occasionally one afternoon you did nothing to make yourself so “stunned]; Occasionally, on a weekend, let my father take my children to play and go shopping and watch movies by himself. Once in a while, I will leave my professional book behind and chase after a [magic play]. Tomorrow will still be the same as usual. I won’t lose my footing because of your relaxation and nap. “
[Admit it, you are not enterprising, you are uneasy. All aspects are actually a legend.]
Many people who talk about balancing work and life actually have the real idea in their hearts: they hope that their work and life will reach satisfactory aspects and will not fall behind others.
These people are full of deep desires and fears in their hearts: they are very eager to become an all-round person and have a perfect life, so they dare not slacken their efforts in life, and their minds are always stretched with a string for fear of making any mistakes.
I dare not relax because I feel uneasy in my heart, but no one can actually do the scripted ideal life.
Instead of being surrounded by uneasiness because you can’t cover everything all day long, it is better to build a life in which you don’t have to think about escaping all day long.
There is no perfect day, but there is delayed satisfaction.
[After a lot of sleep, I lay in a comfortable bed. I didn’t have to think about the time or plan to be a what today. I listened to my favorite music and slowly got up. I had a cup of lemon tea and chatted with my husband.
Make a nutritious breakfast together, hug your family and children… then drive to your studio, which, uh, stands still by the lake surrounded by a metasequoia.
I left work at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, and the children were all practicing piano and studying. And I am going to have dinner, do yoga, meet bosom friends in class, have a good talk and drink coffee together.
When I got home at night, I took a bath, played the piano for a while, watched a favorite movie, then wrote a reading report, and finally went to sleep peacefully with my lover.]
Is this kind of life you want [a perfect day]?
But I calculated that it would take at least 48 hours to finish this.
Your perfect life includes all the elements needed in life. However, can your work, your children’s state and even your relationship with your husband be [tempered] in [one day]? Behind these perfections may be the realization of every small goal.
You can design yourself a perfect life state, but the real problem lies in the time limit of [one day], in which the perfection you want will never be reached.
But the following plans can bring you closer to the life you want:
- Spend 20 minutes a day to do things related to your interests and stick to them. Find an afternoon every month to chat with friends and have afternoon tea. If you don’t have time for each other, you can also chat in groups. For a period of time every year, I study one thing specially and then meet a group of like-minded people. Make your body better and move towards white, thin and beautiful. Take a long vacation to accompany her child to do something she especially wants to do.
The [perfection] of fast food does not exist, you need a little delay in gratification.
Work and life are integration, balance is only choice.
Every woman wants a lot, because what we want is not only a home, not only a good mother and wife, but also a space for ourselves and the realization of our own life value.
In fact, the word “balance” itself regards all these things as contradictions. [balance] means that you can only do one thing at a time. But in fact, we can skillfully arrange the time so that we can complete the task [multithreaded].
U.S. President’s wife Michelle Obama once said: Integration is the basis for maintaining a good state. Work, family and women’s roles can complement each other. Integration is more important than balance.
A Japanese female doctor, Yoshida Suibo, is a mother of five children, a doctor and a doctoral student at Harvard University. In her book “what can do it because there is no time”, she mentioned that her success mainly lies in her ability to efficiently manage her time and perform multiple roles at the same time.
- Use spare time: take a new word card with you to recharge your [academic] self while waiting for the bus and the children to finish school. Abandoning perfectionism: Let a few children do the housework together without being too obsessed with the degree of neatness. In this way, the children’s living ability can be trained, and they can also make some favorite sweets for the children in the same period of time, or make some preparations for their next working hours to improve work energy efficiency. Control emotions: Women are most likely to be troubled by emotions, A comment from others, An accident happened today, A less successful work experience will plunge us into anxiety. Anxiety is inevitable, but if we can effectively control our emotions and quickly change from negative emotions to positive emotions, we can save a lot of unnecessary mental torture and internal friction, and devote more time and energy to meaningful thinking and life. Lend to others: Whether the children’s father or part-time worker, trust them and calmly authorize them to take on some life affairs. For example, on weekends, let the father take the children to do some parent-child activities, let the aunt prepare the family meals, and give herself more time of her own.
If you want to do each role well, you must integrate the responsibilities of each role and prioritize it.
Small incision, big theme
Some time ago, I met a media man of God. She said that the best programs are often [small incisions, big themes].
In fact, the same is true of our life. Everything that changes your life is in a small incision.
Many people believe in [living elsewhere] [I love you most on the road] and always want to move a big stone, make a big decision, and then take a long vacation to separate themselves from one state of life to another.
The scenery on the other side of the mountain is certainly beautiful, but it takes a long time, a lot of energy and enough courage to go elsewhere. Time is not enough and energy is not enough. We have no courage to say and go, and then we can only sigh.
The key to change is to find small incisions and big themes in your life. Breaking down a big theme into many small incisions, the realization of the big theme may be a long way, but each small incision is much easier to complete.
You may not be able to make a walk-as-you-go trip, but at least on weekends, you can take a walk-as-you-go self-driving trip.
When you have set yourself a big theme, you may as well look at the small incisions from the life around you.
When you have completed one small incision after another, after connecting them together, you will find that you may have used these small incisions to realize the big theme of life unconsciously.
[In this strange world, no one can lead a flowing life. However, I have always believed that those who have gone through all kinds of doom and taste will be more vivid and clean through Pinghu, misty rain and mountains and rivers.]
To borrow Zhang Ailing’s words, I dedicate them to all mothers who have grown up calmly.