In the traditional Chinese concept, Children are often assumed to be ungender-conscious. Parents are generally shy about sex education and do not tell their children where their bodies are private and cannot be touched by others. Some parents also let their children run around in open-backed pants or take their already gender-conscious children into public toilets or dressing rooms of the opposite sex.
These practices not only fail to help children establish a good gender awareness, but also easily reduce children’s self-protection awareness and protection against sexual abuse.
Most people turn pale at the mention of [sexual assault], especially for parents of children: they often do not know how to discuss this topic with their children. However, like the terrible message in the headline, child sexual abuse is a serious problem. Unfortunately, in reality, it is not uncommon for boys and girls to be sexually assaulted.
Most child sexual abuse cases show that the offenders are usually adults or older children that the children know-they are authoritative figures in the eyes of the children-in other words, the children often not only know them, but even trust or love them. However, criminals usually use non-violent means to intimidate, manipulate and force the children into submission.
The following is the “Guidelines for Parents to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children” compiled by Dr. Osie from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some contents do not conform to the situation in our country. We have added some feasible suggestions in the following brackets.
Regarding child sexual abuse, parents should clearly understand…
1. Most criminals are familiar to their children.
It may be an authority in the eyes of family members, relatives and friends, teachers and coaches, child nannies and other children.
2. These children are most vulnerable to sexual abuse.
Usually those children who are obedient, obedient and polite in personality; Among them, some children may come from families that are extremely lack of care and love or divorced families.
3. Children who have been sexually abused sometimes show some communication obstacles.
For example, they may always tend to disappear from the circle of family and friends, such as performing poorly in school, appearing depressed, anxious, and even committing aggressive and self-destructive behaviors. But it is also possible that they will behave as usual and no different.
4. Child sexual abuse is usually not a one-off event
This kind of infringement is likely to last for months or even years.
5. Sexual assault does not only refer to genital contact.
Sexual assault includes all sexual hints or behaviors made to children, including genital contact and non-genital contact-such as showing children pornographic pictures and taking pornographic photos of children, etc.
Can how Minimize the Risk of Sexual Abuse of Children?
1. Tell your child the name of your genitals
When children are young, parents can teach them the name of their genitals just like they tell them the names of other body organs-although the genitals are the privacy of human beings, they are not so private as to be unspeakable.
2. Teach children to have and respect the right to privacy
Parents can not only teach their children about their private organs, but also tell them that if they do not want to, parents have no right to touch them. At the same time, children should also know how to respect the privacy of others.
3. Cultivate trust between children and their parents
Tell children as soon as possible and often that there is no secret between parents and them, and they can freely share anything with their parents-good or bad, sad or happy, no matter how easy it is to say.
Step 4 Pay attention to these adults
Pay attention to adults who give their children special gifts or ordinary dolls, or people who want to take their children [out to play] or participate in special activities.
5. Let children participate in non-closed nurseries or activities (opendoor policy is a nursery or activity that allows parents to visit at any time) and monitor and participate in children’s activities as much as possible. (Domestic nurseries generally do not allow parents to enter and leave at will, so it is very important to cultivate children’s absolute trust in their parents.)
6. Create a family environment that does not taboo talking about [sex]
In children’s childhood, they begin to create a family environment that is not taboo to talk about sexual topics. Use child sexual abuse news events and public reports to lead to family discussions on sexual abuse safety issues, repeatedly reiterating to children that if anyone wants to take advantage of Ta in terms of sex, they must tell their parents immediately.
If the child is sexually assaulted…
1. Take sexual assault incidents that your child tells you seriously.
If your child tells you that someone sexually assaulted Ta, You must listen carefully, Take Ta’s words as a serious matter. Because there are too many times, When the child tells the truth, Nobody believed Ta, Particularly when the perpetrators in their mouth are family members, No one believes it. At this time, please contact the pediatrician, the local child protection service center or the police immediately-if you don’t intervene in this matter, Criminals’ abuse of children may continue, Furthermore, children will feel that their families are unsafe. Seeking your help is of no help. (There is no such organization as [Child Protection Service Center] in our country. You can call the police 110 or the Women’s Federation 12338, and you can also contact some legal aid agencies for help. However, such organizations have a small number of legal aid agencies in big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, and most of the time they can only purchase legal services at their own expense.)
2. Let the child know that it is not Ta’s fault to be harmed.
If there is sexual assault, support your child and let TA know that it is not TA’s fault to suffer sexual assault.
Step 3 Take your child to see a doctor
Do a physical examination to ensure that the child’s health is not affected by sexual abuse.
4. Accept psychological counseling services
Most children and their parents also need professional counseling, To help them tide over the difficulties. Pediatricians should recommend relevant community resources that are psychologically helpful to you. (Currently, there are few relevant community resources in China, Pediatricians are usually powerless to deal with victims of child abuse and sexual abuse. Due to the chaotic situation in the psychological counseling market, it is not ruled out that receiving [psychological counseling services] will cause more psychological harm. In this case, it is very important for parents to absolutely support their children and make themselves strong)
5. If you suspect that your child may have been sexually assaulted…
Talk to a pediatrician. The doctor will further communicate with you, examine the child accordingly, and make necessary instructions and reports.
Responsible Editor: Ding Ruoshui
Compiled Source: American Academy of Pediatrics
Acknowledging Li Sipan, Director of New Media Women’s Network