It is a [national problem] that it is difficult to bring babies.
Today, Dr. Clove will share the story of dismounting Boyong’s early father and see how he took pleasure in the arduous project of taking baby.
Writer Ma Boyong is good at writing and digging gaps in history. He is called Prince Ma.
Prince Ma’s method, perhaps you can also give it a try.
First of all, we must admit that this is an inevitable objective fact.
Personal space and time are occupied by children, which will inevitably lead to discomfort.
My home was originally full of books in a study, and there were also books piled up in the bedroom, toilet, dining table, computer, balcony, etc. After Ma Xiaofan was born, these books were packed one by one and put into another house.
At the same time, there are also game consoles, table games and models packed. All the space in the home is full of all kinds of baby products. It took me a long time to get used to raising my hand in any corner of the home, not books but diapers.
Secondly, there are many solutions.
For example, be more considerate of your wife. What you are deprived of is only time. What your wife is deprived of is half of her life and health. For example, cultivate strong fatherly love; For example, the sense of responsibility to the family and children, etc.
When you really begin to attach importance to these things, you will feel that your psychological problems are not important at all.
However, these are all external solutions, which suppress psychological problems and fail to really solve the problems of being a new father from the inside.
Let a newborn father shed tears to cut off his hobbies, suppress his feelings that his children are in trouble, and devote himself sadly to the great cause of child-rearing. In fact, it is not a solution to the problem, but a suppression of the problem.
The fundamental solution to the problem is to make a newborn father cheerful and take the initiative to become a father without hesitation.
I am not a big bull in psychology, so I can only share my own practical experience.
Forcibly [Secondary 2], Dilute the Worry of Being a Father
My way is to try to become a secondary one.
There are different opinions on the definition of the so-called Secondary Two. As far as I personally understand it, it is a situation in which one is divorced from reality and falls into fantasy anytime and anywhere and uses it as a benchmark for thinking and behavior patterns.
For example, in the face of the slowly opening elevator, stretch out your hand to learn the way the possessed mage waved his wand and shout [open! [Another example is walking along the road and suddenly falling off the road. He casually said to himself, “Ah, this new body is really not used to it.”
In short, in reality, I will involuntarily imitate some scenes and passages in fantasy works and completely immerse myself in them.
It is said that because most of the children in the second grade of junior high school in Japan will do this, they are called the second grade of junior high school.
Generally speaking, this kind of behavior is mostly regarded as negative, but on this psychological problem, I think it is helpful to dispel the fear and rejection of newborn fathers to raise children.
No, no, you misunderstood.
It is not through Secondary 2 to escape from reality, but to let Secondary 2 actively turn into reality and dilute troubles.
When Ma Xiaofan was just a full moon, he had a habit that he had to be held by people when sleeping, and he had to hold it vertically. He had to keep standing or walking, as if he had a precise balance gyroscope installed in his body. As soon as he sat down, he would howl immediately.
One night, I was standing on the balcony with him in my arms, weary and exhausted. It had just rained that day. The weather was fine. The night was deep outside the window. Several bright stars were faintly visible in the sky. The dark and tall outline of CBD buildings in the distance seemed like giant guards were standing guard.
I looked down at Ma Xiaofan’s face, and the brain hole opened at this moment.
I felt that I was a king who had just finished his war and returned to his castle just in time for the birth of the prince. I took him to the top of the castle in my arms and pointed to the darkness with high spirits, saying:
[Son, look in the direction where my fingertips are aligned, see? The vast world you can see, the lights, the prosperous and glorious country, and the solemn horizon and white elephant-like mountains in the distance. I promise you, these will be your territory and your rule, so can we stop crying now? ]
This remark was not blurted out, but conceived when I walked around the balcony with him in my arms.
It is necessary to have epic feeling, not too melodramatic, to have a little Shakespeare tone, and not to stick to the Lion King and Alsace.
I was completely immersed in the old king’s dying ambition and hope. The fatigue retreated temporarily, and Ma Xiaofan was not so tired. It was the face of a future prince.
Maybe he will also have an evil uncle. Also, Xiao Fan should have a loyal partner. Huang Xiaoguai is still good. Xiao Guai seems to have a peaceful temper and his parents are richer. I don’t feel bored at all. I am still not satisfied. Ma Xiaofan has fallen asleep completely and I won’t leave the balcony.
Worship carp essence and stop crying at night.
Later, when Ma Xiaofan was three months old, crying at night was still an annoying problem. He woke up in the middle of the night and cried with his eyes closed for no reason. I was very desperate for a while. Because of lack of sleep, I could not concentrate during the day the next day and what could not write any articles.
Later, I came up with a way to get a picture of [Tongtian River Carp Essence] and a picture of [Zhang Liao in Xiaoyaojin], and printed it out and pasted it behind the bedroom door.
My daughter-in-law asked me what I meant. I said very seriously that carp essence is the patron saint of writers because it is called the King of Inspiration. Zhang Liao Zhang Wenyuan is the patron saint of the newborn parents because he stops children crying at night.
We have to worship!
Later, Ma Xiaofan cried all night. I got up from my bed and went to the door to worship respectfully for a few times. I also got an electronic incense burner. My daughter-in-law saw that I worshipped seriously and couldn’t help laughing. Her annoyance was immediately relieved.
Since then, Ma Xiaofan should cry and cry, and we should be sleepy and sleepy, but every time we worship carp essence and Zhang Liao first, it has become a fixed laughing stem.
There is a follow-up.
I passed on this method to my friend, who said it was unreasonable.
[It is clearly written in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms that Zhang Liao’s reputation is to frighten the children of Soochow to cry at night. Only Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai postage areas can work. You are a man zi in a bitter sea and remote state, thanks to him for what? ]
[Secondary 2 Medical Records]
There are many similar things. I sometimes write these Secondary 2 cases on Weibo:
When Ma Xiaofan heard that the Spurs had lost, he wailed sadly and even neglected the vaccination nurse to pull out the needle tube from his arm.
• Ma Xiaofan kicked the wireless keyboard off the table with one foot, It fell to pieces. I called him over and criticized him earnestly: “This is your milk, your formula rice noodles, your clothes, your pacifier, your baby carriage, your car and child seat, your whole childhood…” He was deeply moved and couldn’t help crying with guilt. What should I do until now?
Back to Beijing, a door, daughter-in-law is sitting in front of the computer, willow eyebrows slightly puckered, red lips gently sip, left hand orchid five fingers brushed across the keyboard, right hand virtual hold the mouse such as Qing Xi seal, the whole person deep cloud Yue Zhi, high-spirited fighting spirit with the chassis fan agitation, just like the valkyria who is about to go to war. Ma Xiaofan lay vacant in the cradle, waiting for his first Singles Day.
My friend came to see Ma Xiaofan on the weekend. I made a standard procedure:
1. When the guest entered the door, his mother waved her small claws three times in her arms and said, “Hello, uncle and aunt.”
2. The guest took the stinky hug for one minute and praised it for being beautiful. If he did not feel it, he praised it for being strong.
3. The female guest made a surprise appearance and said that she was born like her mother/father.
4. The female guest communicated with her mother about weight gain and loss, and the male guest asked if she wanted what baby products.
Step 5 Be embarrassed for a minute
6. The male host offered to go out for dinner.
Li Bi
• I bought a game mat for Ma Xiaofan and spread it in the bedroom, with both sides facing the wall and the other side facing the bed. After holding him on the mat, Ma Xiaofan immediately climbed to the corner of the wall, lifted the wall up, slapped desperately against the snow-white wall, knocked himself lightly, and cried out excitedly and laughed. My daughter-in-law and I watched it in horror for a while, and came up with a name: Qi Changfa.
• Xiao Fan’s mother got a toy rack that can play music, hoping to dig out his musical talent and become an elegant person. When Ma Xiaofan first saw the rack, he did not respond to Polly Lu’s melody. He knocked out the butterfly on the top with one palm, then swung his arms fiercely and threw the rack to the ground.
Vexed little look back cold milk hum, attire gently, floating away, leaving behind a debris and broken musician’s dream.
Ma Xiaofan is as quiet as a rabbit, moving as a rabbit, Mount Tai collapsing in front and as colorful as a rabbit, and elk flourishing on the left and looking like a rabbit.
It’s really depressing. Every time Ma Xiaofan is naughty, I can’t scold him for being a bastard, son of a bitch, son of a bitch…
Every day before I go to bed, I am full of expectation, because I can dream immediately. Dreaming of beautiful things will make me feel happy when I wake up. It is also a kind of comfort to dream of terrible things and wake up with [fortunately, it is only a dream].
What is lacking in the United States and China is that I decide when the dream starts. When it ends, it is up to Ma Xiaofan to decide…
• Ma learned to suck his fingers, but adults wouldn’t let him. So he often climbed to the corner where no one was there, put his finger into his mouth, sucked deeply, his face was full of intoxication, and he would quickly pull out his finger when he heard footsteps-fortunately he had not learned to throw his finger on the ground and step on his feet, otherwise his future education would really be a problem… … …
These microblogs are all some of my second-year thoughts and brain holes when I was taking care of Ma Xiaofan, both long and short.
In fact, these imaginations have no influence on Ma Xiaofan, nor will they reduce any workload of taking care of him. However, if you take such a secondary school thought to raise children, at least you can take pleasure in suffering and hypnotize yourself, so that the good time you were deprived can come back a little bit and get some comfort.
Try it. It works.
More importantly, please do it with your wife. Because for children, mother always gives more than father. Mother has to multiply any psychological problems encountered by father by three times.
When I gave birth to Ma Xiaofan, my daughter-in-law suffered a lot. After I entered the delivery room, I didn’t go to see him. I went to see my daughter-in-law first. The daughter-in-law was sweating and tired. I comforted her first and then went to see Ma Xiaofan.
Father and son have four eyes opposite each other. As a father, my first secondary disease broke out like this. Holding the child in his hand, my face was deeply saddened: “For you, a willing child, I have been a general for a few times!” [Of course, it didn’t really fall-nor did the creator of this sentence.