Pregnancy and childbirth are very important changes in many mothers’ lives.
Before giving birth, everyone hoped that after giving birth, they could still keep fit and give consideration to their careers. However, after giving birth, they found that our life had completely changed because of the arrival of children.
Nursing, changing diapers, taking a bath, coaxing sleep… everything is mother, mother, our time and energy seem to be completely occupied by this little guy.
But does this necessarily mean that we can only revolve around the children? Are we the only ones to worry about the children?
Look at the following stories of mothers, maybe you will know what to do.
What carries everything on its own. Do you still have time to become beautiful and excellent?
Cousin is a typical workplace Bai Gujing, as a foreign company HR director, just work until the baby started that day to temporarily leave the post. Cousin often said that she is a hard-working life, can do everything by herself, never trouble others.
How hard is it to be a mother? Just look at the woman’s face.
Because of the multiple pressures of breast milk + work + taking children + housework, my cousin is haggard day by day after delivery. After delivery, she has gained 30 kg of weight a year, but her complexion is much worse than that before pregnancy and childbirth. Even she can’t say the root cause of obesity, which is caused by diet or excessive pressure.
-[Why do you keep milking? It’s so hard to carry milk. The domestic environment is not good, and many shopping malls do not have special mother and infant rooms.]
-[It is said that breast milk is the best, and it will be over after a while.]
-[Take some time to do some exercise? It doesn’t feel very good to wear XL, does it…]
-[Ah, no time. The only free time I have now is when I go to the toilet and take a bath.]
-[Then there must be basic light makeup and appearance etiquette. You are in a foreign company again, so be careful that the boss has any opinions on you.]
-[Let’s wait until the children go to kindergarten to make trouble. It’s better to use this time to catch up on sleep.]
-[You are tired into a dog, why don’t you let your brother-in-law help you share more? The child is not yours.]
-[Not at first, I think women are in this respect, It must be more delicate than men. Slowly, He is also accustomed to the children’s affairs I am in charge. This is perhaps the most wrong decision I have made. One of my best friends, who gave birth to children at about the same time as me, came to me for dinner last month and told me that she changed jobs and her salary doubled because she had obtained a certificate with high gold content in an industry. I asked her where she came from so much time. She said that from the first day of the child’s birth, she and her husband had a clear division of labor and shared the responsibility. Therefore, even if she became a mother, she still had time for self-growth management, fitness and relaxation…]
In my cousin’s body, I realized a truth: no matter how glorious you used to be, if you didn’t have any free space after giving birth, how could you have the opportunity to contact others and how could you have time to improve yourself?
When you feel that your heart is more than you can do, facing the needs of your children, you may as well say: [Baby, find your father! ]
If your husband shares half, you can become a better yourself!
Women who never complain but are more glorious after giving birth are always treated as [rare groups], such as my old classmate Diane.
I’ve met a lot of ladies, After becoming a mother one by one, All incarnated as [hag]. In such a harsh environment, I always feel that I am still doing well. At least in most cases, I am still a loving mother, and the frequency of [Hedong Lion Roar] is still very low. Once, during the wedding banquet, I met my old neighbors. Everyone praised me. The children went to kindergarten, and the feeling remained unchanged at all. Like a little girl, I was well maintained. I said [where], and my heart was already happy.
It was not until I attended the junior high school alumni association last weekend that I found that Diane, the lovely girl in the original class, had not seen her for many years and had become a fighter among hot mothers.
Diane is the design director of a 4A company, travels abroad at least twice a year, and is also a signing writer of a fashion magazine. I heard that she has attended New York Fashion Week for many years.
-[Did your son give it to the old man? ]
-[The old man who works during the day helps, takes him back to his home after work, and my husband and I take him on weekends.]
-[Impossible, look at your delicate skin, you are almost able to choke out water, and there is no excess flesh on your stomach. To be honest, if it weren’t for your old classmates, I would doubt if you had found a surrogate! ]
-[Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, It’s not that exaggerated. Maybe I’m a little lucky, My husband is a slave. Although my son is very naughty, But my husband likes to skin with him, what terrible two ah, It’s difficult to enter the kindergarten. I don’t call anything in my husband’s place. He always has a way to deal with it. In my son’s heart, my father is a close friend. Therefore, it seems that I can basically spare time to do whatever I want to do except spend a little more time with my children than before. When my son was going to kindergarten, my husband took his son to experience it one by one.]
Sometimes looking at Diane’s micro blog, it is inevitable that there will be some gap. Until now, her husband will remind her to take more rest during her physiological period and will not let her do housework.
Her husband has never been stingy in expressing his love. Just last night, he saw Diane write: “I have never thought of meeting anyone since I met you.” The melon eaters who do not know the truth must think they are in love, but their sons can already play soy sauce.
I can’t help sighing: [In fact, if you marry the right person, Valentine’s Day is celebrated every day.]
The most important thing is that your husband should form an alliance with you.
There is a pro-democracy version of goddess-level mother OK mother in my son’s class. The new parents’ meeting caused a lot of turmoil on that day. She was like a stewardess in figure and temperament. When she saw others paying attention to her, she smiled softly. She was completely out of touch with the world, but she volunteered to become a volunteer of the class committee and often shared her parenting experience in the group.
Only after getting familiar with it did I know that their family had had serious conflicts with the elderly because of their children.
In fact, at the beginning, OK mother felt very lucky because she had the old man to help her take care of the children. However, slowly, she found that under the same roof, the ideological differences between the two generations made it difficult to raise children.
For example, not long after the baby was born, she asked him to play on his stomach and practice looking up when the child was awake, but the old man was very opposed, saying that the child was so young that he could not practice like this. Every time she let the child play on his stomach, the old man picked up the child directly.
For example, she sometimes lies down in Ge You when she gets home from work, but the old man criticizes her in front of her husband for not being able to endure hardship, which is far from what she was when she was young.
She has endured all this. There will always be some friction when three generations coexist. However, once the child had a fever and the old man gave the child medicine without telling her, which really violated her bottom line.
She said that she was particularly entangled at that time, fearing that if she suggested not to let the old man take care of the children, it would affect the relationship between her husband and his parents. She could only digest all kinds of negative emotions by herself.
Because of the pressure, she began to lose sleep at night. Finally, after insomnia again and again, she could no longer suppress her emotions and wept in bed in the middle of the night.
The husband was awakened by her crying, Seeing his wife like this, I felt distressed and blamed myself. After chatting at night, my husband personally solved the problem early in the morning the next day. He said to the old man, “Since pregnancy, you have really worried a lot, more than I have paid as a father. You have also worked hard. Let’s take the children with us. Go back to your hometown and have a good rest.”
Later, her husband took the initiative to contract the big job of taking care of the children after work and on weekends. OK mother also had her own time to learn baking skills and self-study nutrition-related knowledge. Now the child has gone to school again, and the time really belongs to her has suddenly increased a lot. She has already set up a parent-child baking shop in a colorful way.
You see, when the husband can decisively form an alliance with his wife, both husband and wife work together, understand each other, regard the happiness of the small family as the first priority, and face all kinds of difficulties encountered in life (such as the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law) together, many difficulties are really not so difficult to solve.
If the husband is indecisive or even doesn’t ask, the family relationship will become chaotic, the relationship between husband and wife will be slowly exhausted, and eventually, life will become like a TV play. Everyone in the family, including children, will also be hurt.
Only a responsible good father can make his wife more and more beautiful!
While the circle of friends is basking in men’s tickets and children’s travel, one of my friends is basking in a good father (no wonder friends all say how she has been aging for many years after marriage …):
Finally, you understand that the younger and younger mothers around you did not secretly fly to South Korea, nor did they become the shopkeeper of cutting off their hands. It was just because the children had a good father that they did not have the resentment and anxiety of taking the lead.
On the way to bring babies, they have [comrades in arms], they know how to let go moderately, and they will manage themselves. However, it is the most ideal and healthiest for children to have their parents to accompany them on the way to growth.