There are often novice mothers who tell us in vague terms that they are a little confused and want us to help.
But what aspect is [that aspect]… when we had a hard time understanding that there was confusion in sexual life and were preparing to give a serious answer, the sisters were embarrassed to continue asking…
Therefore, we will not wait for you to ask today, but we will talk directly about something practical.
No [sexual interest]?
Although from a physiological point of view, sex can be resumed within 6 weeks after delivery, what is more important is whether you are psychologically prepared.
Some mothers may be ready to resume sex after giving birth for weeks, while others may take months or even longer.
After having a baby, many mothers devoted themselves to the baby and did not have any thoughts on [that aspect]. In addition, most of the work of taking care of the baby is undertaken by the mother, who is already very tired. At the end of the day, she really just wants to fall asleep and cannot lift her sex.
In fact, it is not a big deal for what not to have [sexual interest]. Although sex is a very important part of intimate relationships, sex is not the only one in intimate relationships.
If you really don’t want it, you can also keep close by increasing communication, taking care of the baby together, hugging, kissing, etc.
However, mothers also need to be reminded that besides the baby, they and their husbands also need care. After the child falls asleep or when the family helps to take care of the baby, enjoy the two-person world for a short time.
In addition, if the mother is not sexually motivated, the father should take the initiative-share the pressure of caring for the baby and find opportunities to create a romantic atmosphere. (Late-night movies can be put on …)
However, if sexual desire is difficult to recover for a long time, and there are also manifestations such as excessive sensitivity, irritability, extreme fatigue, lack of fun, feeling estranged from children, etc., one should be on guard against postpartum depression and seek help from a doctor in time.
Generally speaking, women need an average of 20-30 minutes of foreplay to reach an orgasm. Factors such as the external environment, interaction with their partners, and even the mood of the day will affect your orgasm.
Some data show that only about 25% of women can achieve orgasm through simple vaginal sex, but most women can achieve orgasm by stimulating clitoris.
Therefore, if you want to get orgasm, you can pay more attention to the clitoris.
Step 1: Direct stimulation
You can try a variety of methods to stimulate the clitoris with your partner, such as rubbing, squeezing, sucking, massaging, etc.
Some women’s clitoris is sensitive, too direct stimulation may become painful experience, so we must communicate in time, whether comfortable or uncomfortable, tell him in time.
2. Stimulate at the same time of sexual intercourse
Try to change the body position and rely on friction and pressing of different parts of the body to stimulate the clitoris, such as the pubic bone or fingers of the other party.
In addition, a relaxed atmosphere, positive fantasies, some auxiliary tools, and multiple attempts all help to achieve climax.
But remember, don’t place all the hopes of orgasm on your husband, you may as well take the initiative to guide him, after all, you know your body best; Of course, don’t regard orgasm as a task that must be completed. Even if there is no orgasm, you can still get high-quality sex. Too much care about orgasm will affect your performance.
No.3 Sexual intercourse is not smooth?
After delivery, changes in hormone levels may make the vagina dry and fragile, especially for breast-fed mothers. Affected by prolactin, the lubrication of the vagina is relatively poor. If it is not fully aroused, the lubrication of the vagina is not enough, and pain is easy to occur in sexual life, leading to unsmooth sexual life.
In addition to ensuring sufficient foreplay, such as kissing, caressing and sweet words, which are good foreplay, lubricants can also be considered.
In addition, many children in families sleep in the same room with their parents, which puts great pressure on both husband and wife when having sex. It is rare to have sex. From beginning to end, they pray that the baby will not wake up suddenly. Then the good and the bad will wake up halfway through…
Whoever puts this on will have a shadow.
If the baby is still relatively young, or the hardware restrictions do not allow room distribution, you can occasionally create opportunities to give the child to the elderly for a day or two on weekends, and the couple will go to suburban places to play.
If the child is already older and the family also has a room for the baby, you can consider dividing the room. Generally, it is more suitable from the age of 2 to the age of 4.
How to choose No.4 posture?
In fact, the answer is, there is no solution…
Everyone has different preferences and feelings. There is no magic posture that can perfectly meet everyone’s needs.
In addition, the children have all been born, and there is no need to be secretive and shy. Think more about tricks and try different postures. Of course, the most important thing is that both sides feel comfortable.
A little change and new ideas from time to time can add more interest to the plain life. However, no matter what the result is, in the process of trying to fully communicate, try to talk about each other’s favorite posture, foreplay, kissing methods, etc., understand each other’s likes and dislikes, can enjoy each other’s body more happily.
No.5 Decreased pleasure?
Whether it is caesarean section or natural delivery, pregnancy itself will cause [loss] to the entire pelvic floor tissue including vagina. After giving birth, vaginal muscles will become relaxed and sexual pleasure will decrease.
However, this is usually only temporary! Usually it can recover on its own after a few months.
Targeted pelvic floor muscle exercise can not only speed up vaginal recovery, but also has good prevention and treatment effects on stress urinary incontinence, uterine prolapse and other diseases.
For the sake of health and happiness, self-management should also be done. You can try [Kegel Exercise] to exercise pelvic floor muscles. This movement is not difficult at all and can be done anytime and anywhere.
No.6 Can you still make out with a second child?
If you are already pregnant with a second child, you can also have sex. Although most people will have concerns, the statistics of nearly 30 years of foreign research show that there is no evidence that sex during pregnancy will increase the adverse pregnancy consequences of healthy pregnant women.
In other words, if you are a healthy pregnant woman and there are no high-risk factors such as premature delivery history, vaginal bleeding, premature rupture of membranes, twin pregnancy, placenta previa, etc., then normal sexual life is not restricted during pregnancy.
Normal fetuses are protected by amniotic fluid and thick myometrium, and sexual life will not cause harm to him. Although orgasm can cause uterine contraction, it is mainly vaginal and anal sphincter contraction, which lasts only a few seconds and is not enough to cause premature delivery.
However, if you have an inextricable snag in your heart, have a good communication with your husband and understand each other. After unloading, you will be another hero! (Hey, hero? )
No.7 has become less frequent?
After giving birth to the child, some mothers feel that they have less sex than before giving birth and feel very anxious.
However, as the two sides become more and more familiar with each other, it is normal to reduce the number of times. It is difficult to always be as passionate as when they first met. Don’t put pressure on yourself with quantity. Number of times is not the most important, quality is more important than quantity.
Instead of dwelling on the number of times, think about how to improve the quality (another place? Changing positions? Play a game? Introducing toys? …).
Finally, I put a picture of condoms to tell you that if you don’t want to have a second child yet, contraception should be done well. Of course, condoms are not the only method of contraception.
Harmony in sexual life can not only improve the happiness index, but also promote family harmony. This is the end of today’s guide to women’s [sexual] life. I wish all mothers a satisfactory sex life without surprises (scares).