Dou Jingtong wrote a song < > dedicated to his sister Li Yan:
For Lola my ear
You are lovingly don’t change
A pair of half-sisters, whose parents are both big stars, will inevitably be put into the spotlight after divorce, combination and then divorce. The spectators always seem to have malicious speculation, and the sisters’ every move has attracted a lot of discussion.
However, it seems that we have never seen rumors of their discord. Everywhere we only see their sweet pictures in the same frame. The love and care flowing in each other’s eyes always seem to overflow the photos.
What are the secrets of child-rearing for Faye Wong and Li Yapeng?
Love pervades this family.
As we all know, Li Yan was born with [cleft lip] (cleft lip and palate) and was immediately sent abroad for medical treatment. However, the repair of cleft lip is not achieved overnight and requires many operations. At present, there are still many scars such as nose and lip.
In principle, it is normal for such children to feel inferior and introverted. But what surprises people is that Li Yan has always been a bright and cheerful girl and does not seem to be affected too much by the disease.
This is not only related to the effect of cleft lip treatment, but also inseparable from the care and careful care of family members.
1. [I think she is very beautiful]
Once Faye Wong was interviewed and talked about her psychological care for Li Yan. She said that they had been protecting her children’s self-esteem and self-confidence.
It is true that, as Faye Wong said, parents are the initial enlighteners of their children, and their mentality directly affects their children’s thoughts.
If even parents feel sorry for themselves, which child can be confident? If parents send the message that “you are great” and “you are beautiful” to their children, of course the children will be confident, self-respecting and self-loving.
2. Balance Dabao and Xiaobao
As for the education of children, Faye Wong often said that [you can think it over] and [as long as you don’t regret it].
Li Yapeng’s microblog also forwarded an exclusive interview with Dou Jingtong by Tencent Entertainment. Tong Tong mentioned her mother’s educational philosophy-[equality and respect], so she felt that she did not need to rebel and fight for such equality and respect by drastic means.
This is not the first time we have heard the concept of equality and respect in parenting, but how many have we really done?
We are often surrounded by traditional views such as [the big should give way to the small], [I am your parents, you should listen to me], but have you ever thought about such consequences?
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Blindly favoring younger children, older children will feel wronged and easily hostile to younger brothers and sisters.
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Younger children become more willful and unreasonable because of their parents’ unconditional maintenance.
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However, if one blindly oppresses one’s parents’ power, one will lose one’s authority as a parent. If one makes too much use of one’s identity, one’s power will become even paler.
Therefore, equality and respect should not be treated differently according to age and status.
Step 3 Be with the kids
Faye Wong once claimed to be “Third Sister” on Weibo, while the elder sister was Tong Tong and the second sister was Yan’er.
This reflects Faye Wong’s clever positioning-she does not regard herself as an authoritative and high-ranking parent, but as a sister closer to her two daughters.
With such a relationship, are you still worried that the child will not say something to her? Is there something on your mind that you won’t tell her? Still worried that the two children, especially the elder sister, will not grow up?
And elder sister Dou Jingtong is indeed more mature and sensible, just like a real family elder sister. If Tong Tong’s [sister power] is not so obvious a few years ago, then with the growth of Dou Jingtong, her elder sister style has become more and more eye-catching over the years, even often overshadowing Faye Wong’s daughter.
Step 4: Love each other
In this family, the sister who is rebellious in appearance and gentle in heart, and the sister who has minor defects but is still confident and lively, their healthy growth cannot be separated from the love and care among family members.
We often see Faye Wong’s image in public opinion, as if she only cares about her personal romance and ignores her children, or how selfish and cold she is compared with other mothers.
However, it seems easy for us to forget that Faye Wong raised Dou Jingtong alone after her divorce from Dou Wei.
After marrying Li Yapeng, the cold-looking queen became more fiery. Faye Wong’s agent praised Li Yapeng: “Faye Wong used to have a very estranged relationship with her family, but after getting married, Li Yapeng had to eat with her family every week, and also wanted Faye Wong to live a normal life so that she could feel the warmth of her relatives.”
Faye Wong’s love for her daughters is beyond doubt. Li Yapeng’s love for Li Yan is also well known. Yan Ran Angel Fund is his biggest gift to Yan Er.
What is rare is that he regards his stepchild as his own child:
In order to transfer Tong Tong to a famous school in Beijing, he waited for the principal at the gate for three hours.
Li Yapeng is not allowed to turn on TV after meals every day. Only after teaching Tong Tong his homework can a family watch TV.
It is often photographed that a person sends Tong Tong to school and takes Tong Tong, who has been bitten by a dog, to hospital for injections several times in a row.
5. Parents Divorced, but Grateful for the past
Perhaps the initial sweetness and passion disappeared, and the feelings tended to be flat. However, even at this point, the interaction between husband and wife was still extremely appropriate. Faye Wong’s sentence of that year: “I’m fine, you also take care of yourself” almost became a model divorce declaration.
No longer love you, this is not what I hope, but the fact is that there is no alternative. Such a harmonious atmosphere will undoubtedly have a great impact on children’s mentality.
We have seen countless children growing up in single-parent families with inferiority, darkness and depression. Parents with custody have instilled hatred towards the other party, and even tortured and abused their dissatisfied couples in front of their children. On the contrary, our elder sister Tong Tong comforted her mother:
The pain is real, but hey life goes on PS: I love you ()
They know the divorce clearly, but they are still confident and sunny.
The interaction after divorce, let us know more, for Tong Tong and Yan’er, the divorce of parents is not the sky falling, father or father, mother or mother, although they are not together, but their love for their children has never diminished.
The children grew into loving each other.
After experiencing divorce in Tong Tong, their parents have separated again recently, but it is not a big deal. The seeds of their love have been planted. No matter how much wind and rain there will be in the future, they will have the energy to spend together.
Li Yan and his father went to see his sister’s performance.
We always feel that our children are still young, fearing that they will panic and that they will not be able to bear the wind and rain outside.
In fact, children all have their own survival wisdom. Life is not to copy the homework of predecessors. Let go properly and give children time. They will do well.
There may be some setbacks, but experience is life.
However, there are no insensitive children, divorced, having a second child… The more complicated the family’s membership changes, the more attention should be paid to the development of children’s character and psychological counseling.
As Dou Jingtong said to Faye Wong:
The pain is real, but life goes on.
Qian Fan has passed away. If parents and family members are still warm and firm with them, as children, besides hard growth, there seems to be no better reward for what.
And this, isn’t it what parents want to see most?