When I took the bus, I saw a three or four-year-old child crying, probably because he did not want to go to kindergarten. In my opinion, children of this age group are in the experience period of separation and anxiety, unwilling to separate from their parents and refusing to invest in a relatively unfamiliar environment, which is perfectly normal.
The mother’s husband was angry and shouted at the child’s father: “You don’t care!” ] The child’s father was quite executive. He picked up the child and put it on his leg. He slapped his ass. The crying came to an abrupt end. After the whole car was silent for three seconds, the child’s mouth gushed with explosive cries.
The child’s mother was even more angry and said, “How can you be so in charge of the child?” ]
I whispered to my wife beside me: “This is not a matter of tube at all, this is a fight.”
Is it really for his good to hit the child?
In the eyes of many people, corporal punishment is still an effective means of discipline, so-called “filial son under stick”.
Although discipline can promote the shaping of behavior and the cultivation of quality, corporal punishment will not provide what guidance for the growth of children.
The main purpose of discipline is to let children know [what to do] under certain specific situations, and the matter of [beating children] can only let children know [not to be what] at best.
Apart from parents who are prone to violence and vent their emotions through violence, for most parents, beating their children is the final card for parents to prove that they are not [powerless] in education.
As a father, I understand very well that being a parent is helpless in many cases. When all the methods are exhausted and the good words are finished, the child still does not do what we want him to do, and violence may become the last resort.
Parents always excuse themselves: [I hit him yes, but I didn’t do it for his own good? ]
However, this does not constitute a reason to beat children. The reason is very simple: you think that you can make children better and better by beating children, but in fact, beating children will bring great physical and mental health risks.
Physiological and psychological injuries
Violence inevitably leads to physical harm.
Children may have to enter social environments such as schools and playgrounds with red and swollen eyes, obvious bruises and scars. Physical pain is an aspect that cannot be ignored, but scars are likely to bring more troubles to children.
Children are very concerned about their image, performance and evaluation in their small circle. The beating will affect his friends, classmates and even teachers’ evaluation of him to a certain extent, and it is also likely to affect his understanding and attitude towards himself. Just because a child is young, one cannot ignore his self-esteem and self-identity.
In addition, beating children in public places-especially those of special significance to children-will bring great psychological harm to children. Compared with psychological trauma, the little physical pain is not even a what.
Some studies have found that some children who are beaten by their parents in public will have symptoms similar to PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder), which is mainly caused by explosive injuries and will also induce other psychological problems to a certain extent, such as extreme depression, refusal to socialize, and even suicide and self-injury.
A vicious circle of [corporal punishment]
For some unfortunate children, beating has become common. Their parents have regarded it as an effective discipline method.
Numerous studies have shown that children who grow up in families with a culture of “beating children” are affected by many important psychological indicators. Their self-esteem is often lower, while their aggressiveness, loss and anxiety are often higher.
This is actually very understandable: if a child is in fear of being beaten for a long time, he will definitely not be able to obtain a long-term and effective sense of security-naturally he will become anxious, sensitive, nervous and eager to protect himself.
Perhaps it is precisely because of the lack of stable emotional state that these children often lack the development of intelligence, academic level and attention level. It is precisely these deficiencies that can easily lead them back into the vicious circle of beating.
The worse the performance, the worse the beating, and the worse the performance. Under such circumstances, corporal punishment has completely lost any meaning of discipline.
At the same time, the bitter experiences of childhood do not only affect the years when children are children. Recent studies have also found that the more children are beaten in childhood, the more likely they are to develop substance abuse problems, such as smoking or alcohol addiction, when they grow up. The average degree of subjective well-being is also generally lower than that of peers.
It is worth mentioning that in families with [son preference] ideas, if a girl suffers violence only because of her gender, it is likely to have a negative impact on her performance in intimate and parent-child relationships as an adult.
The victims are not only children,
Perhaps many parents beat their children out of their own words of [love]. However, in the eyes of young children, beating is beating, which basically has nothing to do with love or not. In many cases, children do not understand the good intentions of their elders as well as adults think.
Generally speaking, children have positive feelings towards their parents, so children will stick to their parents, hug and kiss them. However, violence is a direct negation of such positive feelings, seriously weakening the originally full attraction between children and parents.
Domestic violence against children, especially at school age, will affect children’s attachment to their parents and directly lead to more problems. For example, children will refuse to communicate with their parents, lie to their parents, and their relationship with their parents will gradually fade away.
In addition, the incident will also affect other relationships-don’t think that the child is the only victim of the incident.
- The victim may also be the child’s parents: Many studies have explored the relationship between couples who hit their children. It is found that the more couples love to beat their children, They also fight more frequently, The possibility of sharp differences due to children is also greater. The victim may also be the child’s child: Many people who were beaten by their parents when they were young will say [I will never beat my children in the future]. However, after children who were often beaten by their parents when they were young become parents, about one third will still use the same method their parents treated themselves and use corporal punishment to educate the next generation.
Children and their families have their own differences, some families are more close to each other, and some children [skin] have some. Therefore, from the perspective of scientific statistics, the above different and identical symptoms are not the absolute consequences of [beating children].
However, you should not be relieved. The above risks are highly correlated with violence against children in the family-not because children have enough skin to beat and scold uncontrollably.
Just because these beats and scolds are given a mask [I am for hello], it cannot cover up the huge hidden danger it has laid for a child’s psychological development.
Responsible Editor: Fu Ting