Have you ever met such a lover?
Leaving you is a torment for him/her.
He/she likes to look through your cell phone from time to time, ask who you have been out with, and even hope you can tell him every detail of your life.
He/she always likes to order you to do this and that and solve all kinds of life problems for you in the name of [for hello].
Even some important life decisions, such as quitting, changing jobs, making friends, etc.
He/she will make you feel embarrassed or even ashamed in front of your friends for various puzzling reasons, and even control what kind of friends you meet and associate with.
He/she has a bad temper and turns against him/her, just like the day in June. When he/she says it changes, it changes.
They are extremely strong and always [scratch] bruises on your wrists and arms, punching and kicking when they are unhappy.
When he/she loses his/her temper, he/she especially likes to blame you for all the problems and responsibilities and likes to say [it’s all your fault! ]
They are usually gentle in front of your friends, but secretly like to operate you behind closed doors.
They will say something negative to you, making you feel [am I crazy, am I having a problem].
They always say things that make you feel guilty and make it difficult for you to refuse their requests.
They like to mock you, sarcasm you and deny your personality.
When you really want to talk, you get their cynicism.
Sometimes, they don’t even lift their heads, directly ignoring your existence.
When you feel strong, he/she, regardless of whether you like it or not, will want to bully the bully and bow hard, and you cannot say no.
Even sometimes, the other party will use the words “do you not love me enough” to pressure you to love him/her.
(Note:The refusal to wear condoms during sex is also worthy of all girls’ vigilance!)
No matter whether we apply a little makeup or put on a newly bought dress today, or stay alone with friends of the opposite sex for a while, they will ask this and that jealously and even suspect that you are trying to seduce others.
But when we express dissatisfaction and want to break up, they are not only unwilling, but even like to importune.
When we break up, the other party threatens in various ways, such as [kidnapping] pets, threatening to hurt family members, and even hurting ourselves.
For example, they will say that if they do not promise to continue together, they will commit suicide.
After they have done the above, after hurting you, they will send you flowers, buy gifts, apologize and [promise] this will not happen again.
However, this situation has been staged again and again.
Is your relationship with your lover healthy?
As the saying goes, love is blind.
As authorities, we often rationalize what our lovers do. When friends and family around you remind you that your lover may be a bit of a “control freak”, please seriously recall whether your relationship with your lover is healthy enough.
Because, the above listed behaviors in love, we call it dating violence.
Dating violence, like domestic violence, covers physical violence, verbal violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and economic control.
Rape in dating is the most easily ignored and despised place.
It is worth noting that dating violence has begun to appear at a younger age, appearing very frequently on WeChat, microblog, QQ and other network tools, and is manifested as a kind of behavior called “network tracking violence”.
People who pursue you or those who are in love may be using similar methods to violence you.
Stay away from such lovers and learn to protect yourself.
In fact, it is hard to believe that when our most familiar and intimate lovers use violence (not just physical violence) against us, we will involuntarily rationalize (that is, help each other find reasons). We will think that we can change each other, and as long as we do better, the other party will stop violence.
Unfortunately, dating violence prevention organizations show that most of the perpetrators’ violence will repeat and will not disappear.
In many cases, the degree of abuse will only deepen layer by layer.
Therefore, when you find yourself in a love relationship or your friends are in such unhealthy love relationships, please remember to ask your friends and family for help, stay away from such lovers and learn to protect yourself.
In the eyes of the abuser, looking at your itinerary is to express their concern and love for you.
In the eyes of the abuser, their actions are all right, while yours are all wrong.
In the eyes of the abuser, they have the supreme power to ask you to meet their needs.
In the eyes of the abuser, belittling and denying you is a manifestation of loving you and hello.
In the eyes of the abuser, love is possession and no respect.
However, to love you, we must first respect you! Click here to learn how to exit this relationship.