Many mothers will encounter such problems: What should I do if my child is beaten by other children outside?
I have encountered the same problem recently.
When a child is beaten, his reaction may be much smaller than you think.
My son’s name is Tong Tong, and there is a boy named Kiki who is three months younger than my son in the neighbor’s house. Tong Tong and Kiki often play together.
Last weekend, I took my son to the children’s playground in the community, and Kiki’s mother also brought Kiki. As soon as the two children met, Kiki slapped my son.
I suppressed my anger and immediately squatted down and hugged Tung Tong and asked him if there was anything wrong.
When Kiki’s mother saw this, she immediately criticized Kiki: [Kiki, you hit Tung Tong just now. This is wrong, impolite and not a man’s way.] Then she turned to Tung Tong, took Tung Tong’s hand and said, “Tung Tong, aunt has criticized Kiki. He is younger than you and doesn’t understand. Don’t be angry, okay? ]
I looked at Tung Tong anxiously for fear that he could not help crying. However, as soon as he turned around, he ran to the slide, and Kiki followed. Both of them played happily all afternoon as if it had happened to what.
After returning at night, I was still worried about whether it would have a negative impact on the what of Tung Tong and whether Tung Tong would become cowardly and timid.
So I seriously asked him again: [Tung Tong, Kiki hit you today. Are you angry with Kiki? ]
[Not angry. Kiki didn’t hurt at all.]
At last, I was completely relieved. It turned out that Tong Tong did not take this matter to heart at all, so there was no adverse effect.
Therefore, after experiencing this incident, I understand: when the child is beaten, he may not care at all, let alone hurt himself.
Do you want to call back after being beaten?
I have seen many mothers complain about the helpless experience of meeting bear parents on the Internet: it was clearly the children who robbed toys, but the two mothers fought for it. Clearly, it was the children of their own family who started beating people first, but after the children of other families returned to beat them, they swore that the children of other families were not educated and the whole family was not educated. Other parents even act as if nothing has happened after their children beat others.
These are all wrong ways to deal with the problem. They not only cannot solve the problem, but also are not conducive to the growth of children.
So, what should we do when our children are bullied?
1. Pay attention to children’s emotions and give them timely comfort and protection.
The world of children is actually very simple, However, they may be frightened by the sudden and violent intervention of the other parent. At this time, it is most important to appease and protect their children from verbal attacks. Because this trivial matter between children may not matter to them at all, and without the intervention of parents, they may forget all about it in the next second.
2. Communicate with the parents of the other party and try to let the children solve the problem by themselves.
You can try to negotiate with the parents of the other party. The parents of both parties should keep calm and let the children communicate well to see if the children can solve the conflicts by themselves. If not, the parents should give some more suggestions. Peace is the most important thing and will not create a horrible and serious atmosphere for the children.
3. Ask your child how he feels afterwards
Anyway, At dinner in the evening, Or before going to bed, You can ask the child again how he understands what happened during the day. If the child skips it in a few words, it means that he may not care about it at all, that is to say, it has not caused any psychological impact on him. However, if the child hesitates and has tears hidden in his eyes, he really needs to have a good talk with the child and untie his heart.
4. Meet the originator of bear parents, it is the best policy to go.
If your smile and hard communication can’t stop the parents of the other party from their uncivilized abuse, then you must have met the originator of the bear parents. At this time, it is best to go and don’t waste another minute on the other party.
If you meet some parents who are out of control or even have excessive behavior, you can call the police.
For the sake of the next generation, we should start from ourselves, refuse violence, learn to communicate and pay attention to civilization.
5. When the child calls back, don’t accuse him immediately and reason things out.
When the child was beaten, If he hit the other party’s child hard. Some parents may lose face, Immediately seriously accuse his child: [You child, how can you hit people?] In fact, this will feel very wronged and hurt for the child’s heart. Because in his small world, it was clearly someone else who hit me first, why did my mother not help me but scold me instead? Such invisible damage is actually far more serious than the beating of the child.
Parents need not be too nervous after their children fight back. In fact, this is just a good opportunity to teach by word and deed.
After the child called back, As parents of both sides, they should apologize to each other first, and then show understanding and tolerance. Children can understand by observing parents’ behavior that fists are not the only way to solve conflicts. In this way, when they encounter the same situation in the future, children will follow the example of parents’ behavior and follow the adult’s way to solve conflicts.
Are there any what precautions to avoid the impact of being beaten on children?
No parent has the heart to see his child wronged in vain. Therefore, no matter whether your child has been beaten or not, we should do a good job in the usual education of [the child was beaten].
1. [It is wrong to hit people.]
This is everyone’s most basic accomplishment, and every parent should always require their children to abide by it. If every family can tell their children the reason why they cannot hit people as early as possible, I think the frequency of children being beaten will be greatly reduced.
2. Learn to protect yourself
No matter in the amusement park outside or after the children go to kindergarten, it is inevitable that they will meet a small number of [overlord children] who prefer to bully others.
We should tell our children that if you are bullied, you must first protect yourself. When you realize that other people’s fists are swinging at you, your first reaction is to find ways not to hurt yourself, especially your head.
3. Learn to fight back appropriately.
Although no matter what happens, beating should not be used as a weapon to solve the problem, if the child is beaten, it is also wrong to let the child choose tolerance. Slowly, the child will become cowardly and timid. Therefore, we should teach the child how to fight back appropriately.
Dads can do [actual combat exercises] with their children at home.
The father [hits] the child the first time and tells the child: [If someone suddenly hits you, you have to say, you can’t hit anyone.] Then, he [hits] the child the second time and tells him: [If he continues to “hit” you, you have to say loudly: Hit me again and I will hit you! ! ! Then, the father [hit] the third time and said to the child, “Come on, hit the father hard.” [Pa! ] The child will hit the enemy as hard as he did… … …
In this way, after repeated [exercises] several times, the child will fully remember how to fight back, and his confidence and courage will also improve.
4. Need Adults’ Shelter
If there is a great disparity between the enemy and the enemy, and neither self-protection nor counterattack can protect them from harm, then let the child seek the protection of adults immediately. Teachers and parents are the first choice for protection. If neither teacher nor parents are present, you can also seek the protection of other adults you know.
5. Parents are role models for children’s behavior,
If your child always likes to hit people, you can reflect on whether you have ever solved problems through violence. As a parent, you should set an example. Otherwise, when one day your child hits someone else’s child, you ask him, why did you hit someone? His answer may be: [Didn’t you hit your father/mother the same way? ]
As mentioned earlier, as parents, we should set an example and teach by word and deed when our children fight back. In addition, in normal times, parents should always remember that they have always been role models for their children’s behavior. Therefore, try not to show their violent side in front of their children, and even if they have, they should explain the reasons to their children in time afterwards.
[Hitting] is the only way for many children to develop, but as long as parents guide them correctly, communicate more with their children, and patiently teach them how to express their emotions correctly, then children will eventually give up using [fist] to solve problems.