The second misconception of a good mother: regarding love as education

At the parents’ meeting every semester, some parents will use such words as the final reply to me when discussing their children’s problems with me: at this time, their faces are always hung with expressions of expectation and some helplessness. My mood is very complicated about this. Should I tell the parents the truth or let them continue to hold such expectations [waiting]? [Waiting] Is a Wrong Expectation I first heard similar words when discussing the child’s problems with a mother. The situation was that the child made a mistake and was criticized by the head teacher. Parents feel that although the fault lies with their children, But [not at this point], It is wrong for the head teacher to criticize and criticize so harshly. During the conversation, The parents also listed with me the success of many foreign education and the transformation process of some [bad children]. I know why this parent told me so much in front of me. Because I think this may also be the pillar that supported her to this day. Having said that, The parent sat wearily in the sofa chair. She is full of love for her children. Love is always tolerant, But education sometimes requires a strict attitude. [Waiting for Flowers to Bloom] This sentence is convincing, It is because it provides some parents who are already struggling to cope with their children with a chance to [breathe a sigh of relief]. At first glance, it sounds like it is full of love and wisdom. But if you think about it carefully, You will find that this is a typical thinking error. It is not too much to say chicken soup for the soul. This statement makes parents systematically overestimate the hope of success. Without knowing the reality, Have a fantasy about success. The Game between Love and Education Parents who firmly believe in this sentence, Will use all kinds of educational stories [bad children] eventually transform into successful stories or foreign excellent educational cases as reasons to support themselves, At the same time, I firmly believe that this possibility will also happen to my children. However, when you mention those failure cases, they look unwilling to admit it. The end result is that parents have more confusion and bewilderment: Why are their children more and more difficult to manage and are called to the office by the head teacher more and more frequently? The children’s problems are becoming more and more uncontrollable. What’s the matter? Is it the parents who are wrong? Parents are not wrong, However, only the education of love can neither complete the emotional transmission of love, There is no way to realize other functions of education well. [Waiting for flowers to bloom] cannot be used as a reason for children to make mistakes. The more you wait for the mistakes your children make, The more it will cause confusion to children [self-boundary]. Children do not have the mature social moral concepts of adults. For the time being, they can only judge whether their behavior is correct or not from the results of external judgment on their behavior. And behind the seemingly non-interference and non-restriction of [freedom], In fact, it is a kind of incomprehension, communication and clarification of children’s emotional response. For example, when children are scared of making mistakes, Parents, however, did the opposite of their expectations and did not give much explanation. At this time, children will probably fall into a feeling of chaos or even [abandonment], while more extreme children will develop into two different directions: one is the direction of [my parents do not love me], and then go to silence; One is that you must love me, I can do anything for this], and then go to the outbreak. [Waiting for Flowers to Bloom] provides parents with an umbrella in the name of love, allowing parents to escape and refuse to solve problems about their children’s growth, which may be the reason why many parents are subconsciously satisfied with this statement. But in the process of child-rearing, is it really just the child growing up alone? Parents don’t have to do it what. Is it OK to [wait]? Only the education of love, It is not the education of love. Replacing education with love, Just a doting change, Confused the relationship between love and education. Education with only love and love with only education, They all failed. The former destroyed love, The latter delayed education. Parents should have the attitude that if their children really make mistakes, Parents should realize the following principles: 1. Appropriate punishment cannot be reduced or exempted because of [ignorance]. Appropriate punishment is necessary and positive. 2. Put your mind right and don’t try to be a “saint” in family education. First of all, you are not saving your child, but growing up with him. Secondly, forgiveness and tolerance for children are only useful when mistakes are clarified. Admit your mistakes and face your problems. 3. Admit your mistakes and let it go. 3. Admit your mistakes and let it go. If you’re wrong, Not to be treated in an evasive manner, It is even more impossible to shift the responsibility for solving the problem to the children. We should discuss with our children to face and bear it together. It is not [shameful] to admit your mistakes frankly in front of your children. 4. Parents need to work hard and accompany you before you continue to pay [flowers bloom]. No child will grow up from the wind, frost and rain. Finally, I’d like to share with you the full text of [Waiting for Flowers to Bloom]. Please pay attention to the bold part: