These five kinds of [Chinese politeness] hurt children the most, parents should pay attention to

If you want to ask your parents, children and your own face, who is important?

I believe most parents will choose their children.

On the other hand, we often hear such complaints:

My children are fine with everything, but they can’t let it go outside and don’t even say hello.

My family’s ah, too domineering, what is not willing to share, sad people.

… …

It is true that children’s lack of courtesy and propriety outside the home is a matter of “great disgrace” to parents. However, children’s constant submission to etiquette is also worried about the adverse effects on their physical and mental development.

To resolve the conflict between face and children, it is important to find a balance between etiquette education and children’s physical and mental development. Sometimes, the conflict between face and children can be reconciled, sometimes, we need to give up unnecessary face.

Why didn’t you say hello? It’s not polite!

Of course, children who take the initiative to say hello are more painful. However, if their children do not like to say hello, parents must not label their children as [impolite] and criticize them.

At this time, we can help cultivate children’s willingness to take the initiative to say hello through a simple game.

We can tell our children: [We say hello to others, we can make others very happy, we will also be very happy, we record the mother and the baby who makes others happy more times every day, ok? ]

Then every time we say hello to a person, we stick a small red flower or a red five-pointed star to the baby, and the mother scores herself in this way, comparing every day to see who does more.

In this way, children can gradually experience the happiness of communication between people, and children will be more willing to say hello in the future.

How can you be so humble? Give the toy to the younger brother

Parents should know that if they blindly ask their children to be humble and force them to give up their favorite toys, their children will not learn to defend their ownership. When they grow up, their children may become cowardly and will not protect themselves and the things around them.

Cultivating children’s humble character requires guidance and encouragement.

We can tell children: if toys are given to other children to play with, other children will like themselves more and become partners with each other, so that everyone can exchange or share toys with each other. In this way, all children can play with more toys. In this way, children’s ability to establish win-win relationships can be cultivated, which is of obvious benefit to children’s development.

In addition, if it is found that the child voluntarily gives the toy to other children, the parents should encourage the child in time and tell him, well done, you are great!

怎么害羞啦?快, 唱个歌呀

Many parents will find that when their children are 2 ~ 3 years old, they suddenly change from the “little bean” that everyone likes to show everywhere to the “mimosa” that is easy to hide behind their parents shyly.

Don’t worry, don’t worry, this is not the child’s retrogression, but on the contrary, it shows that the child is growing up.

After the age of 2, children will gradually form a [sense of shame]. This cognitive development will enable children to form a better sense of morality and right and wrong in the future.

In the face of this change in the child, don’t force the child, but should protect him. Otherwise, the child may deny himself all his life and be unwilling to open himself. Then, it will be really [not generous].

Where, where, my child can’t

Parents can recall that when someone praised our children, their first reaction was to shake their heads and say:

No, I don’t even see how good my child is.

However, this kind of decent lie is not intentional by the speaker and intentional by the listener.

If our children take these words seriously, they may wonder if their parents really love me.

It is safer to encourage and guide the child to give sincere thanks to those who praise him. For example, you can say this:

When someone praises you, you will feel very happy, so this happiness is the gift given to you by the other party. When someone gives us gifts, should we say what? That’s right! We want to say thank you!

Look at Xiao Ming in the next house, and look at you…

When we were young, we had a common enemy, Xiao Ming from the next house, [other people’s children]. Parents originally intended to use this method to encourage their children to work hard, but such negative words may hurt their children’s self-development.

If you want your children to follow the example, it is better to hold a party and invite Xiao Ming from the next door to visit your home, so that everyone can grow up together and give your children an intuitive example directly. In this way, your children may be more willing to accept some.

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