[Mom and Dad, I will go to the toilet by myself! [(laughing proudly)
[Mom, all the children in the kindergarten go to the toilet by themselves! [a proud look]
Finally, we waited for this day. In order to wait for this day to come [naturally], we gave our son full respect and unconditional trust.
Little Story-Consequences of Training Children to Go to Toilet Prematurely
The neighbor’s son, Kiki, is 3 months younger than our Tung Tong. However, their family has been wearing typical Chinese-style [open-backed pants] since Kiki was about 20 months old. Within 3 months, Kiki can basically take the initiative to express her need for toilet use.
But the whole family spent too much extra energy on it.
For example, Kiki may wet 7 or 8 pairs of trousers a day. For example, Kiki accidentally urinated on the floor, so a person hid in the curtain cloth. When adults found him, he would wrap himself tightly and say, “Don’t come here, don’t come here.” Because he urinated on the ground, he knew that adults would [scold] him again.
What is most unacceptable to me is that Once I took Tung Tong to the amusement park in the community to play with Kiki. I found Kiki in open-backed pants sitting on a fitness equipment full of mud and garbage. It made me feel unable to look straight at him, because adults could not stare at him every minute. Accidentally, he just sat in a dirty place…
First, let nature take its course or human training
[It’s so big, can’t you go to the toilet by yourself? Still wrapping diapers? ]
In the face of the voices of doubt around me, I have never wavered.
Since Tung Tong was born, I basically consider child-rearing with the principle of “letting nature take its course”. I will never accept any more encumbrance or compulsion for things that can be done with a free and happy attitude. Until the beginning of May this year, a good friend of mine who once worked as a preschool education reminded me: “When entering kindergarten, two things are the most important. One is the ability to eat alone; The second is the problem of defecation and urination. Although there are nurses in the school, they will be the best. Otherwise, it will be Tung Tong who suffers.]
My friend’s words made me wake up like a dream and kept me awake all night. In fact, I have always wanted Tung Tong to leave diapers naturally, considering his sensitive and timid nature. For him, perhaps [letting nature take its course] will be more effective than [forcing].
But I had to consider my good friend’s kind reminder. In addition, since the end of this year (that is, about 30 months ago), Tung Tong has actually fully realized his own awareness of going to the toilet. So I thought it was time to do some [artificial training].
II. Record of Toilet Training
I bought two auxiliary tools:
Toilet training underpants (specially bought the pattern Tung Tong likes)
Small toilet (similar to the one shown in the figure below)
Training Phase 1:
1. Use Thomas underwear instead of diapers first, reluctantly accept it!
2. When Tong Tong shouted to urinate himself, he tried to let him take off his underpants and urinate in the toilet, refusing! And require the bag to be diapers.
The above two states have lasted for a whole month. At this time, Tung Tong has been 33 months old. Before each urination or defecation, he will accurately express his wish to excrete. However, he must wrap diapers before he is willing. Otherwise, he will cry endlessly.
Training Phase 2:
1. White lies: No more diapers, pee on Thomas! It won’t leak!
After holding back for a while, I really urinated. Of course, it was on the premise of my rich and vivid expression and my firm statement that I would not leak on the ground. (See, he already understands it very well. He feels that urinating in diapers is not wet, used to it, very safe, does not want to urinate indiscriminately, and does not want to urinate on the ground.)
2. Try to take off Thomas and let him pee. Don’t accept it!
As long as he is allowed to urinate directly without his ass, he will not be able to do so. There are some manifestations of anal sensitivity period.
Training Phase 3:
Tung Tong, if you pee on the toilet once, how about Mom buying you a BMW toy sports car? (Tung Tong’s favorite car). [Good! [What about when you peed on the toilet in what? [Well… Tomorrow! So, tomorrow after tomorrow, I never kept my promise. Also [tricked] me into buying toy cars several times.
2. Find the child’s [pain points] + inducements + continuous warm spiritual support to encourage good words…
Tung Tong, if you don’t urinate on the toilet, you won’t be able to go to kindergarten. Then when Tung Tong was anxious to urinate to wrap diapers, I said, there was no diaper, only to urinate in the toilet … at first, Tung Tong would cry urgently. Several times down, in fact, the child’s heart has slowly accepted it, but his body cannot accept it for a while.
One day, Tung Tong was going to pee again. I said, “Quick, pee on the toilet. After peeing, my mother will help you buy a car and the BMW remote control car you want most.” Tung Tong hesitated, as if he still didn’t want to. I continued: “We Tung Tong need to pee on the toilet, because we can go to kindergarten by peeing on the toilet.”
Then one day, he really peed in the toilet.
And the night is all night till dawn! ! ! No bed wetting! ! !
Three, my experience to share
Through this successful toilet training, combined with the books I have read, the articles shared by different mothers’ babies on toilet training, and the real experiences of the babies around me. I would like to share some experiences on baby toilet training for you:
1. Before the age of 1.5, try to let the baby enjoy the freedom of diapers.
From the perspective of infants’ psychological development, 0-1.5 years old is the key stage for infants to establish a safe attachment relationship with their mothers. During this period, infants mainly perceive the world through their mouth and connect with the world through their intimate relationship with their mothers.
At this stage, the baby’s language ability, movement ability and body control ability are not yet mature. Moreover, their nervous system development has not yet reached a state that can control large intestine, bladder and anal tissues.
Therefore, give children 100% respect and careful care, so that TA can defecate and urinate freely in diapers, and make TA feel more secure in the world.
2.1. 5-3 years old, when to train to go to the toilet-depends on the baby’s development level
The age of 1.5-3 is the period of separation and independence. During this period, infants gradually realize separation and independence in the all-round development of their abilities by controlling their limbs and interacting frequently with the outside world.
When did what start training babies to use toilets?
My advice is to see whether the baby can already understand adults’ words and have the ability to imitate them. In addition, it also depends on whether the baby’s sphincter for controlling defecation and urination has developed and whether the baby can sit firmly.
Every child is a unique individual, and parents should be helpers rather than trainers.
Tung Tong said every time that the baby was going to pee! I would exaggerate and say: [Wow, the baby is so smart that he knows he is going to pee, then let’s pee in the toilet? If Tung Tung does not agree and wants to wrap diapers, I will no longer force him to do so. But I will add one sentence every time: “What about baby peeing in the toilet when he is in what?” Tomorrow… Well, then tomorrow! ]
As a result, his little psychology has been slowly accepted, but his body has not yet done so.
And I didn’t put pressure on him in front of him, just helped him, just like a good friend of his.
Because I have never forced him for a long time, I have always adopted a circular and gradual mode. Therefore, when I encounter new things in my life, as long as I say, “You can taste them, it is safe”, he will unconditionally trust me. As a mother, I feel extremely proud of this trust.
4. Trust the child. Say to him: You can!
The whole toilet training process is easier than other people’s homes. But I also said more than 100 times [you can].
Encouragement is twice as important to an adult as it is to a child.
It’s not just a toilet problem, including many things in life. If Tong Tong said to me, Mom, I can’t. I will definitely smile and say to him, “Baby, you can!” ]
When he tried to succeed, he burst out laughing and expressed great satisfaction. He was really 100 times happier than eating a piece of chocolate.
On the way to raise children, I never drive ducks to shelves. For a long time, I have been growing up slowly with Tung Tong at the rhythm of [natural gradual progress, unconditional trust, smile, encouragement and help].
Every baby who comes to this world is our unique little angel. Facing these little angels, why don’t we choose a way to make each other more harmonious and comfortable, to protect their innocent and pure little world and quietly accompany their growth?
The article comes from a mother’s real parenting experience.
Similarly, we believe that as a mother, you must have many experiences worth recording and sharing. Return to Ding Ma’s homepage and reply [contribute].
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