Have you ever considered having a second child? Have you had a second child in what? How do parents deal with having several children at the same time?
Age difference under 2 years old
Shorten the age difference of children, It means you can take care of two babies at the same time. Relatively less energy is spent on children. For example, You don’t have to re-install child collision protection measures on desks and chairs, or re-select the latest child care products such as breast pump. For those women who are married after the age of 30 and have plans to have two children, this age-poor baby is a good choice. Before the annoying factor of [age] bothers you, get pregnant quickly.
Benefits: If you can accept the hard work of raising two younger babies at the same time and survive these two years, you can realize his various benefits. You will find that the two children can play together and be playmates with each other. The hobbies for toys and various recreational activities are the same. In addition, many mothers also found that Dabao, whose age difference is 2 years old, is more likely to accept the arrival of new babies from the family.
The most surprising advantage is that it saves money. You may worry about the financial pressure of raising two babies at once. In fact, in many cases, there will be discounts for two people, even for dance classes and summer camps.
Disadvantages: One word [chaos]. Most of the time, You have to deal with crying babies, handling baby diapers, And all kinds of trivial things about the baby, even you can’t rest. A mother’s experience is that the first two years are really hard. There is always a baby who doesn’t sleep well or gets sick frequently. He is always so busy dealing with all kinds of [baby crises] that he doesn’t feel the happiness of the new life.
It may even affect your marriage. Always underfed children, endless laundry and countless sleepless nights may cause parents to collapse and lead to family quarrels.
Experts suggest: Even if older babies don’t mind having a new brother or sister at first, But when TA’s [small world] is destroyed, You will also begin to hate babies. Babies between the ages of 1 and 2 may not be good at expressing emotions and even cannot understand why they are unhappy or angry. Pay attention to the baby’s feelings and don’t let the other baby feel neglected. If the older baby is present when holding the baby, you can exaggerate the baby and encourage TA to play with his brother/sister.
Some Suggestions for Family Harmony: Don’t hesitate to ask your husband and parents for help. Asking them to help take care of your baby will not only give you a moment’s rest, but also enable your baby to be cared for by more people. To learn to live a good life, you need to keep every trace of energy so that you can give yourself and your baby a better life.
Age difference between 2 and 4 years old
This age difference seems to be the most ideal age difference. On the one hand, You can get a little recovery from the hard work of taking care of the last baby. It will give you enough energy to get up at 2 a.m. to feed the baby. This duration will not make you forget some of the skills you need to take care of your baby. At the same time, you have accumulated some good parenting experiences. For example, don’t let your baby get into the habit of taking a two-hour nap in the afternoon, which will enable you and your husband to enjoy a romantic candlelight dinner without being disturbed by the baby.
Benefits: When your older children go to kindergarten to study, you can be at ease with your younger children. The best thing about this age difference is that it allows mothers time to take care of their two babies.
At the same time, this age difference will not cause a generation gap between the two babies. There are still toys and games that can be played together, and the elder brother/sister can also act as a behavior and language initiator for half of the baby. With the help of the elder brother/sister, the baby is always much ahead of other babies of the same age in various abilities, such as learning to walk earlier.
For working mothers, the age difference between 2 and 4 years old allows mothers to learn how to be mothers and spare no effort to move forward in their careers. But if you want to stay at home and take care of your baby until school age and at the same time want to return to work, a younger age difference is a better choice.
Disadvantages: Taking care of children at different stages, The methods are different, and moving between two children and different educational methods makes many mothers feel a little scrambled. Another cruel fact is that when you are tired of taking care of your baby and want to take an afternoon break, you will find that having a baby is old enough to stop taking a nap and make your dream of taking a nap come to naught.
When you have only one baby, it is easy to find a nanny to take care of it for 1 ~ 2 hours. However, when you have two babies, one at toddler age and the other at newborn age, it is very difficult to hire a nanny. Older, it is not easy to hire a nanny when one is 5 years old and the other is 3 years old. However, the babies of these two periods are the most hectic time for their mothers.
Experts suggest: The age difference between 2 and 4 years old, Let the first baby get used to monopolizing the mother’s favor, And when you no longer belong to TA completely, It will take some time for TA to adapt to the existence of the baby. It may also be frustrating. And become a [bad] baby, Ignore your younger brother/sister. Whether it’s what’s cause, You should educate TA well, Let this [jealousy] disappear in the cradle. But don’t just warn, [You can’t be a what, or it’s wrong to blame TA’s behavior], this will only make TA think you are favoring the baby. If TA has any aggressive behavior towards the new baby, he should immediately punish it, and at the same time, he should quickly shift the focus of punishment to teaching TA how to get along with the baby and make TA enjoy it.
Some suggestions to make the family more harmonious: Older babies can learn to take care of their younger brothers/sisters and make TA feel that they are important members of the family.
Age difference over 5 years old
Whether you intentionally put your babies in this age gap or unintentionally, you are the winner in life. The age gap of 5 years old allows your two babies to enjoy all the care of their mother when they were children and at the same time enjoy the affection of brothers and sisters before entering kindergarten, even if their feelings may not be very close.
Benefits: After the first child reaches school age, For the next baby, You may be relatively older, However, you will be more experienced and confident about raising your baby. Your husband may feel that you are more patient in educating your baby and will no longer be angry about small things. For both couples, there is more time to increase their relationship, so this age difference baby has the least impact on the marriage.
When two babies get along, the older baby is usually more mature than his peers because of taking care of his younger brother/sister, while the younger baby is usually more delicate because of the care of his older brother/sister. As they grow up together, the older baby will help guide the younger brother/sister to understand the world.
Disadvantages: The age difference of 5 years old makes it take some time for you to readjust to the life of caring for a baby. And you need to switch between raising a school-age baby and a newborn.
Economically, it is very likely that all infant products and toys will need to be purchased again for this age-poor baby.
Experts suggest that the arrival of new life may be more difficult for older babies to adapt, after all, TA has adapted to life as an only child for a long time. From knowing pregnancy to the arrival of new life, you have at least 9 months to prepare TA, using this period of time to tell TA that the arrival of new life may have an impact, good or bad.
Suggestions for making the family more harmonious: New life tends to attract more attention, so remember not to ignore the feelings of older babies.