One of the Mistakes of Good Mothers: Too Tolerant of Children

There are many things on the Internet like [don’t do this to children], Or the saying that “children can be better if they do more of this”. All want to be a good mother, However, on the way to being a good mother, It is likely that some common mantra, old people’s classics and some [positive energy] on the Internet have gone wrong. Accompanying children to grow up is a beautiful word. But I wish to tell mothers and expectant mothers that, The journey to raise children is difficult, There are many bumps and trivial details, It doesn’t happen overnight. Don’t fail to fulfill your responsibility as a parent in the first place, Give correct guidance to children, He also thinks he is for the good of his children. In the end, he blamed the child instead. A good mother is not unrestrained and tolerant [teacher, So-and-so in our class is “crazy”, The head teacher asked me to let you have a look.] After I took this [crazy] student from the classroom to the consultation room, Carefully studied the child: 12 years old, There is no clean place all over, There was a look in my eyes that [I am the most wronged in the world]. After a simple chat, I found out that he was concerned about the fact that he started hitting people first. Determined that it was the fault of the other party, And it’s true. I said [your mother will come], The child’s reaction was [you don’t let her come, It was useless for her to come]. At this time, The head teacher invited his mother over, I let the students go first. Later, when chatting with the parents, I found that parents have a very good attitude towards their children’s wrong admission. I also put forward a series of [corrective measures], And always say [I am just a quick temper, Son, follow me, Sometimes I can’t stop my temper when I get angry]. I didn’t have what’s reaction, She went on to say: [However, teacher, I don’t think we can look at this matter this way. My child has a face of grievance. He must have what and this matter can’t be slapped.] Later, the mother said to the child in the first place [not all of it is your responsibility, but you must remember to change it next time, okay? All right, it’s all right, Let’s go to class.] I have seen this parent several times since then. Every time the child is a sad and wronged look, It seems that the whole world owes him an explanation. Excessive tolerance hinders the growth of children. What I want to focus on is the last remark made by this mother to her children. Similar words occur very frequently in our daily life: then parents will [comfort] their children before making clear the truth. Will this have what effect? Children will think [I am not wrong, I will not be punished for it], especially when teachers and other people say [your parents want to “clean up” you], children will think [it is their fault]. But why do children not even understand right and wrong? Because according to the stage of children’s psychological development, At this stage, children’s moral views are mainly focused on judging the results. However, many parents prevent their children from making moral judgments about things. Let the [responsibility] that should be [arrived as scheduled] always be postponed indefinitely. However, Parents will directly ask their children when they are older: At this time, the child became the most innocent person. Because parents’ attitudes changed too fast, Let the child be caught off guard, with the arrival of the rebellious period of the child, this will become a potential problem and become a parent-child contradiction. Growth is a process of accumulation, not the achievement of results, the result of putting the cart before the horse will only make family education fall into a kind of confusion. Children make mistakes, how should they deal with them? If such a situation happens to children, how should they deal with it? 1. Calm the Emotions of Both Parents and Children When Both Parents and Children Have Emotions, Let both sides calm down first, Don’t educate in emotions. In addition, This is also to enable children to experience emotions and have time to review their behaviors. 2. Observe children’s retelling. Let children retell the basic situation first. Let him know that you are actively concerned about him, Not to listen to others. But pay attention to the fact that you need to have a basic understanding and mastery of things before that. Listen to the child’s retelling, In order to know where the discrepancy is, These are exactly the information that the child hides and refuses to disclose. 3. Discussing the solution with the child is different and wrong for the child to repeat. Let children provide solutions, And discussed with them, Instead of parents providing programs directly. Don’t repeat mistakes and flaunt that parents are always wise. It is only necessary to quietly listen to the conditions put forward by the children. Full respect for children while maintaining the bottom line. 4. Implement agreed measures to support children’s beneficial practices. Make a contract with him, If it is not completed next time, The punishment that the child needs to accept. However, The punishment here is not corporal punishment, It is the result agreed with the child in advance to bear when the conditions are met. At the same time, Parents should also fulfill the agreement, Can’t break the contract, Or change the judgment conditions or results of rewards and punishments at will. When children grow up, The need to learn to face growth independently is never a result. It is a process of accumulation on the road. Don’t be too protective of your children when you are young. With [he will understand when he is older] in his mind, I hope that children will grow up with time in the future. Time may dilute something. But never let a person mature, because a person to become mature, must be honed in time. Please regard your child as an independent individual, too much love and protection, in fact, is depriving him of his behavior as an independent individual.