Parents may have experienced their children being teased by relatives or friends around them. You will not be unfamiliar with the following words:
[Your mother is going to have a little brother and will not love you in the future! ]
[You were picked up by your mother from the garbage.]
[Let me hug you, I’ll take you to eat delicious food! ]
… …
In this article, we call these relatives and friends [Lord Bear]. Why? Because the practices of these relatives and friends are likely to bring some harm to the children’s psychology and even bring a crisis of trust to the whole family. As a parent, due to his partiality, he is embarrassed to directly refuse these teases from relatives.
In this hard-to-avoid dilemma, can how not only preserve the respect of adults, but also protect our children?
Here are some cases and methods to help parents face these [bear adults] more freely in normal times.
Intimate Education: Deal with [Your Mother Is Going to Have a Little Brother/Sister, She Will Not Love You in the Future]
I remember when the two-child policy was first released, there was such news:
A child who had just entered primary school knew from relatives that his mother was pregnant and might not love him in the future. When he got home, he forced his mother to abort the child in his stomach by suicide.
This is an extreme case, but in daily life, children are also likely to show panic when hearing this topic, and then turn back and look at their parents at a loss. If parents do not handle it properly, it is likely to leave a shadow on children that cannot be erased for a long time.
How to prepare your children for these sudden [bear adults]?
Solution
First of all, this should have been done at that time:
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Put your arms around the child immediately, and physical comfort and support are the most direct and important!
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Look at the [Lord Bear] and say: [Nonsense! In the future, only one more younger brother/sister will love Xiaotian (the teased child). As a big brother, Xiaotian will also protect his younger brother/sister with his mother! ]. To express disgust at what relatives say.
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Turn your head, look at the child with supportive and firm eyes and ask, “Is it?” ]
At this time, when the child is supported and encouraged by his mother, he will not feel at a loss. Under normal circumstances, he will stand with his mother to resist [foreign enemies].
If it is a more introverted and sensitive child, it may not be able to eliminate the shadow. This requires parents to find ways to divert their children’s attention and let them go to other places to play and avoid this [bear adult].
In order to prevent such a thing from happening again next time and to show full respect to this adult, the mother can tell/her privately: [My child may not be ready to accept this matter yet, so teasing the child may hurt the child very much, please don’t say such words in the future.]
In general, the other party will apologize for his rashness. However, if the other party still disagrees after listening, then he/she can turn against him/her without anyone else! As a parent, you have every right to express to anyone your wish to protect your children at any cost, even if you lose your relative or friend! With such an aura, I believe most people dare not speak rashly in front of your children.
More importantly, In normal times, Parents should also hug, kiss and express their love with their children. You can talk to your children every night before going to bed, Let the children know, If we have a little brother or sister, we should protect him/her together. The younger brother/sister will love us more and our love will be more. Let the child be more convinced that the love given to him by his parents will not decrease, and one more family member will give him more love. In the future, these [Lord Bear] teases will be broken in the face of perfect intimate education.
Sex Education: Dealing with [You were picked up from the garbage by your mother]
Don’t wait for these [bear adults] to tease, parents should give their children sex education as soon as possible.
Of course, sex education at the age of 20 and 2 is different. For children, their most concerned problem may be how they came from. If parents do not answer properly, or neglect this aspect of education, then children are already confused about their origin, plus [adult bear] tease, you can imagine how big the psychological shadow of children at this time.
Solution
At ordinary times, when a child asks how he came, don’t talk about him from left to right, and don’t joke rashly to tease the child. Instead, he should face the problem with the child and then tell the child the truth in appropriate language.
For example, you can say to your child: “Mom and Dad love each other, and then after getting married, you begin to grow up in your mother’s belly. After 10 months, you are old enough to say to your mother,” I want to come out! ” You came out.]
With that, the child will certainly find out. Don’t worry at this time. You can read sex education books of the corresponding age group with your child and discuss them together. Recommend several such picture books, such as < < How did my parents have me > > < < Feifei was born > >, etc.
Safety Education: Deal with [It’s so cute, I’m going to take your brother away] [Come with me, I’ll take you to buy ice cream]
At ordinary times to do a good job in safety education for children, children face the dilemma set by those [bear adults], often very serious but let these [bear adults] themselves into embarrassment. More importantly, this can protect children’s physical and mental health, in the face of real danger, avoid accidents.
Solution
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At ordinary times, we should have a secret code or password with our children that only we know about each other. If other people come to pick up after school and the secret code or password is wrong, we cannot go with that person, even if we are familiar with it.
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Before going to bed, you can often talk to your children about some common sense to protect yourself. For example, when someone forcibly takes you or your brother/sister away, you should remember their appearance, departure path and license plate number. You should also know to go to the nearby police station or security guard for help. Older children should also know to call the police.
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When Mom and Dad are not around or without permission, don’t pick up what others give, let alone eat.
When [adults bear] want to tease their children, if the children have a good sense of safety, they will not easily fall into the [trap].
On the other hand, it is also a good thing if you fall into the [trap], which shows that the teasing of [Lord Xiong] just tests that the children’s safety awareness needs to be further strengthened. In case it is a person who plots against the law, there may be potential safety hazards.
The writing here is not very complete, but in many cases, parents and friends can learn from the above three methods to operate.
In a word, we can’t remind those [adults bear] one by one not to hurt our children intentionally or unintentionally, but as long as parents pay attention at ordinary times, we are fully capable of making our children mentally strong enough to resist these harassment.