Colleague S successfully gave birth to a fat male treasure weighing 8 kg, but asked me gloomily on the phone: Elder sister, how do you feel the whole world has changed after giving birth? You are a former person, tell me honestly, is there any way to live in the days to come?
In the first three years after giving birth to a child, various difficulties in child-rearing, husband and wife, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, career and other aspects have mercilessly hit you.
Not a good mother without breast milk?
How to choose between stay-at-home mothers and office mothers?
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is in danger. How can it
How can the baby I have nurtured with all my strength be completely different from the perfect baby in books?
Why does my husband care less and less about me?
Because you are a mother, there is no way out. If you don’t grasp it well, it may not only be the darkest three years of your life, but also destroy your three views and erase your ideals. Really, I am not exaggerating at all.
My son officially entered the kindergarten in September this year, because I have self-knowledge (I am a picky and poor person), so in the third trimester of pregnancy, I chose to go back to my mother’s family to live. It was not until my son was 2 years old that I officially moved back to our family of three. Looking back on the past three years, I really said too much and was full of tears.
Although I chose my mother-in-law to help me take care of the children together (dousing the flames of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the cradle), I still could not avoid many quarrels, N cold wars and countless conflicts with my mother-in-law.
Later, I found out that the happiest thing after having children is not that the old man helps to take care of the children, but that your husband, like you, devotes all his efforts to the children, gives selflessly and runs your family attentively.
This is the standard for [marrying the right person], okay?
Men can even do obstetricians and gynecologists, let alone take care of children. As long as husbands change their ideas, it will not be a problem technically. How is your husband? We may as well refer to the following reference regulations…
1. [Wife, I’ll hold the baby, you go to bed quickly.]
The 2-hour feeding during the month makes most mothers especially short of sleep. Once a person lacks sleep for a long time, his spirit will not be full and his state will no longer be optimistic.
Very not easy to stay up until the baby is 6 months old, can slowly begin to add supplementary food, only to find that [frequent night milk + worry about whether the quilt has been kicked off in the middle of the night + night crying without knowing the truth] will still shatter mothers’ [whole sleep] fantasy. Breast milk cannot be replaced, so when sleeping? Where is the milk powder after weaning? How about changing diapers?
On those haggard nights, the husband’s words [wife, I’ll be on duty tonight, you have a good sleep] are the most beautiful love words in the world.
2. [Nursing is not good, I’ll take a bath.]
For babies under one year old, the demand for their mothers is the highest. Who can understand the anxiety state of [standing by]?
Breast milk is determined by congenital conditions, so how about bathing the baby? Most babies under 7 months old cannot sit firmly in the bathtub, so they need a pair of extremely powerful hands to protect them carefully. Therefore, can 15-20 minutes of bathing time every day naturally become the free time for mothers?
3. [Baby learns to walk, I’ll be a sparring partner.]
Because of caesarean section + psychological sensitivity, I always feel that my waist is not as good as before after delivery. Fortunately, during the months when my son practiced walking, my husband has been trying his best to pay more.
At the beginning of children’s learning to walk, adults who accompany them need to keep bending over for a long time. This posture is difficult for the elderly who are not very athletic. What’s more, the physical ability of the elderly and the flexibility of the waist and back are not as good as those of the young.
Therefore, if the baby is tired of learning to walk and has the full support of her husband, the whole family will breathe a sigh of relief and will take this opportunity to quickly reserve energy to welcome the arrival of the next new stage.
4. [Let me take the baby to play games.]
As in Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, Dad is born with an authoritative patriarchal attraction. What’s more, The roles played by father and mother in the growth of children are different in themselves. If you want to establish higher prestige in children’s hearts, you may as well take your children to participate in more outdoor sports and educational games. The [father’s love] given to children in the process of accompanying them cannot be replaced by any emotion.
I have a friend who has two sons in his family. When the eldest son was young, his father was always busy with his work and neglected to give his children enough company, so he was introverted and very curtilage. When the younger son was born, his father realized this and was more willing to take the initiative to spend more time with his children to play and exercise together. Therefore, the younger son looked fearless.
Whether my father is with me or not directly leads to the obvious personality differences between my brother and younger brother.
5. [I’ll do the housework and give my mother a rest.]
We always say that life gradually becomes dangerous after having children, but as long as we face it calmly and keep a calm and motivated heart, all the difficult problems will be solved.
Before his son was one year old, The three of us lived at my mother’s. One day, My mother said to me, “I don’t think my son-in-law is as industrious as before you gave birth. Every time I came, I would take the initiative to help me take out the garbage. Now after dinner, like the big masters in TV plays, I sit in front of the sofa drinking tea and watching TV. Is it because his children have become arrogant at home?” ]
I know that what my mother saw was appearances, but in fact there was something wrong with internal communication. Therefore, I decided to take the initiative to talk to my husband.
[Husband, now that you have finished your meal, why don’t you rush to take out the garbage? ]
[Ah, several times my father said he told me to leave it alone, and he came to pour it. I thought they didn’t need me…]
[They are polite. You see, your beer belly is coming out. How about you taking out the garbage and mopping the floor in the future? Didn’t you have time to exercise? This will kill two birds with one stone.]
Since then, My husband really took the initiative to take out the garbage and mop the floor after dinner every day. For a 50-year-old woman like my mother, Mopping the floor and taking out the garbage every day will be tiring. However, with such a distribution, my mother happily felt that if she found a good son-in-law, her husband would have 20 minutes of fitness time every day. Why not kill two birds with one stone?
6. [Wife, please ask your friends for tea on the weekend. I’ll take care of the children! ]
My cousin’s Chaobao clothing brand store was officially launched three months ago. It is said that the first month of its launch was very profitable. When I was pregnant, she often shared with me the years [good times] after her pregnancy and childbirth. She told me very firmly that the most correct thing she did in her life was to find a good husband.
Before the child was three years old, my cousin was a stay-at-home mother. However, my brother-in-law can stick to it for three years, taking a few days after work a week to accompany my cousin to sneak away. Every Saturday, I take the responsibility of taking care of my baby and give my cousin a holiday. Every month, I arrange half a day or one day of world activities with my cousin, such as watching new movies, going to the hottest food shops, etc. On that day of each month, the two of them seem to have returned to their love period.
As a result, my cousin spent three years as a stay-at-home mother with few complaints. Instead, she lived a colorful life and envied others. Husband’s understanding and support are the best relief medicine for mothers. Also because she has always maintained an optimistic and calm attitude, she will not fall into the crisis of a yellow-faced woman.
In this era of Internet, when opportunities are booming, more and more mothers have not delayed their careers because of pregnancy and childbirth. On the contrary, they have opened up new paths for themselves by relying on their own talents and continuous learning. All this is inseparable from the support and encouragement of their husbands.
7. [Wife, I can also become a parenting expert.]
When his son was about one year old, Got a rash. That was the baby’s first fever, that night the baby suddenly had a fever, took the temperature, 39.1 ℃, I decided to take antipyretic for my son, but what I didn’t expect was that clearly the temperature had subsided in the middle of the night, but it came out early the next morning, 39.3 ℃, but the son’s mental state looked very good, and there were no symptoms such as runny nose.
[Look at the symptoms, I think it should be a baby rash, you wait, I’ll go to look through the book to show you.] Husband said aside. Later, facts proved that husband’s prediction was right.
Three days later, the son naturally subsided his fever, and then some red maculopapules appeared on his body. After another two days, the rash receded on its own. On that occasion, I was especially glad that my husband had read books on parenting knowledge.
There is a super dad in the circle of friends, because he was asked too many questions [it is not difficult to take care of children]. So one day, I expressed my inner feelings in the circle of friends:
It must have been difficult at first, The first month after the child is born is brought by her sister-in-law, Sleep with us from the second month, I got up four times at night to warm up and feed her milk, Hiccups, diapers, sleep, less than four hours a night and work during the day. But when you watch your child grow up little by little under your care, you will feel that all this is worth it. What’s more, when you become skilled, you will find that taking care of the child is not only without pressure, but also fun.
Dads, no what can make us feel the magic of nature and the incredible of life more than witnessing the continuous growth of a life.